Developing Emotional Intelligence

Developing Emotional Intelligence
The Faces of Business

Developing Emotional Intelligence

In this, The Faces of Business, Phil Johnson, MBL, Founder & CEO, Master of Business Leadership Inc. (Est 2001), talks about Developing Emotional Intelligence and how this is critical to being an effective leader.

Master of Business Leadership Inc. is a platform where professionals get training and coaching. At Master of Business Leadership, Phil has trained more than 500 executives to be successful leaders worldwide.

Phil is an on-demand speaker and hosts podcasts to help C-suite executives learn about leadership and emotional intelligence, which he believes is “400% more powerful than intelligence.” For over two decades, Phil has been helping his clients increase their sales, progress in their careers, get their employees and customers more involved, and improve their leadership style, emotional intelligence, organizational development, and cultural transformation.

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Phil also authored The MBL Success Map: Speaking Truth to Power to help people in executive positions use their knowledge correctly and get the desired results. Besides developing EI, Phil teaches empathic leadership, increased awareness, and other essential skills for a successful career.

Damon excitedly introduces Phil Johnson to this Livestream. The host invites the guest to talk about his background. Phil discloses that his emotional intelligence is not accidental. He was born with dyslexia. In those days, there were no methods to diagnose dyslexia. Hence it remained unattended. Since Phil’s brain “doesn’t work the way most people’s brains work,” it forced him to come out of his comfort zone, which he now refers to as “emotional labor.” Similarly, the fear and anxiety gave him a greater awareness of his surroundings. It all helped him develop his emotional intelligence.

Since January 1968, Phil has been working on Emotional Intelligence. One month after the death of his mother, he conceived the idea of improving the concept of leadership in the corporate sector. He recounts how tragically, the C-Suite executives lacked empathy. Quite successfully, Phil has “generated about a billion and a half dollars in revenue and helped people to advance in their careers.”

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In response to Damon, Phil explains that EI is “the ability to move outside your comfort zone despite anxiety.” Furthermore, it is about remaining honest with ourselves.

He explains the idea of the comfort zone in physiological terms. Whenever we take risks, the amygdala—a part of our brain responsible for alarming us in case of danger—ensures we never leave “the comfort of our cave.” It secretes cortisol into our bloodstream, causing an emotional surge and making us “say and do things we later regret.” Psychologists refer to that as “an amygdala hijack.” This kind of emotional rush can harm business and work relationships alike.

To Phil, coming out of the comfort zone “is incredibly difficult.” And so, for the development of their workers’ emotional intelligence, companies are spending millions of dollars. Our 500 million-old primitive brains are not wired to register the rapid changes we are experiencing. These technological and digital “changes trigger fear and anxiety in us.

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Digging deeper into the idea of EI, Phil quotes an Apple Store. In his view, they don’t want to sell their products outrightly when we enter their outlet. “They want to try and understand your pain.” Moreover, they offer a possible “solution to your pain.” It is an example of a more emotionally intelligent environment. Intelligence represents the future of organizational development. “It isn’t a solution to the tsunami of change we face. It’s the only solution.”

He gives another example by quoting Gallup. It shows that the current employee engagement worldwide is around 13%. There’s a correlation between the level of employee engagement and the level of customer engagement. If employees don’t feel engaged with your customers, toxic work environments are the direct cause. Similarly, a lack of trust results in about 80% of merger and acquisition ventures failing. So, the development of emotional intelligence is the answer to all drama, chaos, and conflict.

Moreover, the development of our emotional intelligence enables us to compete. The fast-paced change is forcing entrepreneurs to rely on their network of trusted advisors. Advisors with emotional intelligence are the most valuable assets today.

Phil explains the origin of emotional intelligence in terms of evolution. Humanity, as he thinks, has evolved from tribes. Our prefrontal cortex develops to sense if somebody’s trying to help or eat us. Neurologists call these specialized cells “mirror neurons.” That’s why when we walk into a room, we sense the energy in the room.

In the same way, we know if something is authentic or fake. Genuineness wins out, and we become more inspirational leaders. It also raises your level of consciousness about what’s going on in around us. 95 out of 100 times, we rely on our habits to determine our behavior on primitive lines. Understanding ourselves on these lines makes us better leaders and entrepreneurs. Damon praises Phil for his piercing insight into this subject.

Phil opines that to develop emotional intelligence, “we have to form an emotional connection to the vision of the desired result that motivates us to move outside of our comfort zone in pursuit of that result.” Without that emotional connection, we will compromise our willingness to do emotional labor. We allow our fear to control our behavior. For urgent and better results, we need to develop EI sooner.

The guest motivates his clients by creating a realistic link between what they are and what they want to be. He helps them understand the gap between their efforts and desired goals. Phil believes that motivation is the key to change.

He explains that the emotional quotient (EQ) is far superior to the intelligence quotient (IQ). He refers to a study conducted by UC Berkley University that it did for four years. The study concluded that anyone with better EQ has 400% more chances of success than anyone with a better IQ. Additionally, with developed emotional intelligence, the ROI continues to grow exponentially in value.

Moreover, he distinguishes between IQ and EQ based on genetics. Intelligence is hereditary. People are born intelligent. They are brilliant because of their genes. On the other hand, people can master emotional intelligence if they wish.

“Should we have a formally defined emotional strategy evolved and implemented in an organization?” Damon asks a question.

Phil suggests that without a methodology for personal change, organizational change is not possible. In other words, the more emotionally intelligent individuals in the organization, the lower the toxicity. Once about 20% to 25% of the people in an organization demonstrate emotional intelligence, the organization begins to self-correct. As a result, the drama, chaos, and conflict reduce automatically. The organization starts to heal itself.

He goes on to shed light on two sources of resistance to change. One of them is biological. The other one is sociological. While talking about the former, he says that we develop a habit of neural number pathways in our brains. When we practice something enough, there’s a process called automaticity. The work transforms from a conscious act into an unconscious habit. Although we could develop new habits at any age, new habits are always weaker than our old habits. It is called brain plasticity or neurogenesis.

The second, sociological, is that people around us don’t want us to change. If we change and start to get better results, these changes “scare the hell out of them.” So, the best way to ensure they don’t have to change is to ensure we fail. Afterward, people belittle us. Phil points out that developing our emotional intelligence guarantees career, personal and corporate success.

He gives examples of the resilient Thomas Edison and Walt Disney. Both were emotionally intelligent and learned from their experience, and they kept trying to change society for the better. He further talks about Elon Musk, who is on the verge of bankruptcy and emotional collapse. He sustained because of his emotional quotient.

Trust between the employer and employees is essential for growth. And emotional intelligence is the key to building trust. Phil concludes this discussion with these remarks.

The conversation ends with Damon thanking Phil for his time.

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54:32

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

emotional intelligence, people, develop, called, comfort zone, change, results, organization, habits, development, facing, years, brain, motivation, fear, emotionally intelligent, trust, phil johnson, question, emotional connection

SPEAKERS

Damon Pistulka, Phil Johnson

 

Damon Pistulka  00:01

All right, everyone, welcome once again to the faces of business. I’m your host, Damon Pistulka. And I’m excited for our guests today, because I’ve got none other than Phil Johnson, from Master of Business Leadership, and we’re gonna be talking about developing emotional intelligence today, Phil, glad to have you.

 

Phil Johnson  00:21

Thanks, Damon, it’s a, it’s a pleasure to be on your show.

 

Damon Pistulka  00:24

Well, I’ve we’re gonna dive into something today that I think is very important. And you’re gonna tell us even more about it. Hopefully, that will really help that. So, Phil, let’s, let’s do this, we always like to start the show off by letting our guests talk about their background, and how they got into what they’re doing today. So share that with us. And you can. Sure.

 

Phil Johnson  00:54

So I’m 68 now, and I had the good fortune of being born with dyslexia. And back in those days, there was no such thing as dyslexia, ATD, or ADHD. But because my brain doesn’t work the way most people’s brains work, it forced me to do a lot of what I now refer to as emotional labor. It kind of yanked me out of my comfort zone. And the fear and the anxiety that created in the emotional labor required to move through that fear helped me to develop a greater awareness of what’s going on, in me and around me, it helped me to develop my, my emotional intelligence. So that’s the track. I’ve really been on all my life.

 

Damon Pistulka  01:46

Okay. So when did you I mean, what, what really triggered it and you just said, I want to study emotional intelligence? I mean, because that’s just as a topic, I’m thinking in my mind, how did you pick that? Or did you other things, and then it came in on this.

 

Phil Johnson  02:09

It was the death of one month after the death of my mother, in December of 1967. In January of 1968, I decided I wanted to do this work before was even called Emotional intelligence. And it really changed my trajectory dramatically, in a positive way. And I kind of became a super overachiever. I did well, in university and in my corporate career, I spent 20 years in the semiconductor industry. After studying electrical engineering. I was traveling about 60,000 miles a year, throughout North America, the Pacific Rim. And by 1990, I had all the toys.

But I was disappointed at the quality of leadership. And candidly speaking, that I, I kind of forgotten the reason I was doing what I was doing, because back to the promise I made to myself in January 1968. And I decided to leave corporate America. I turned out to two vice presidential roles to begin doing what I’ve been doing for the last 22 years as an executive coach. So I’ve coached companies and executives all over the world, helping them to succeed by developing their emotional intelligence. Generate about a billion and a half dollars in revenue and help people to, to advance in their careers.

 

Damon Pistulka  04:18

Yeah, that’s, that’s a billion with a B, not with a.

 

Phil Johnson  04:22

That’s a Yeah, that’s 1000 million.

 

Damon Pistulka  04:26

Yep. That’s awesome. And, and still so for myself, and then listeners, what, what is emotional intelligence? So we understand what you’re talking about here?

 

Phil Johnson  04:40

Yeah. A very simple explanation to a very complicated process is it’s the ability to move outside of your comfort zone, through the anxiety that triggers in us towards a desired result we want Don’t cheat. That’s how you develop your emotional intelligence.

 

Damon Pistulka  05:08

And can you can you say that, again, you’re moving outside of your comfort zone after having

 

Phil Johnson  05:13

emotions. Let me back up for a second. Whenever we take an action that moves us outside of our comfort zone, is a part of our brain, our old lizard brain called the amygdala, for hundreds of millions of years, has been trying to keep us safe and alive by making sure we never leave the comfort of our cave. And if we do, it tries to force us back into our comfort zone by secreting a hormone into our bloodstream, called cortisol. And that causes the executive center of our brain to shut off and we often say and do things we later regret. US psychologists refer to that as an amygdala hijack, okay, people lash out, some people run away, some people freeze like a deer in the headlights.

And when that happens in conflict situations, it can cause people to die. When it happens in business, for personal Situations, Relationships die, we burn trust. So as an analogy, if you think of your amygdala as a very frightened four year old child, the development of our emotional intelligence acts like a Big Brother or Big Sister to quiet that make no response down to change, and better enable us to feel the fear and anxiety that change triggers us and move through it towards what we’re trying to achieve. As opposed to allowing that fear to, to keep us stuck in our comfort zones.

 

Damon Pistulka  06:44

Ah, great, great. Now I understand a little better. Now I understand a little better, because you’re trying to the emotional intelligence helps us move through that uncomfortable or outside of our comfort zone. Because we know that is what we need to do to achieve the goal we’re trying to do. And the fact of being able to move out of that comfort zone is where you really get benefit from developing your emotional intelligence.

 

Phil Johnson  07:12

Yep. And it’s incredibly, it’s incredibly difficult. Oh, yeah, that’s only two, that’s only one of the three primary sources of resistance, we have to change. And so the development of our emotional intelligence, more and more companies are hiring, developing and promoting emotional intelligence. Because they have no choice recognizing they have no choice we’re facing change is increasing at an exponential rate. We’re facing a tsunami of change globally.

And we have a 500 million year old brain that doesn’t like change. So the only way we can do navigate our way through the fear and anxiety that change triggers in us, all of us, is the development of our emotional intelligence. And if you want, I don’t know if this is getting us off topic or not. But I can give you an example of a company that’s currently doing over a trillion dollars a year in sales. That’s 1000 billion. And their primary hiring focus is on emotional intelligence.

 

Damon Pistulka  08:30

Wow. Yeah, yeah. That, that’s something to be able to think about what you’re doing, what the company is, let’s hear it.

 

Phil Johnson  08:39

Apple. Yeah. Why would you walk into an Apple Store. That is you feel as an example of a more emotionally intelligent environment. They’re not trying to sell you anything. They want to try and understand your pain. And if possible, offer a solution to your pain. Whether you buy anything or not, is secondary, their desire to want to serve you, and want you to have a great experience. And maybe you will tell your friends and they’ll tell their friends.

And if you think about it, that energy is a very different energy, from the stories surrounding energy is, is an example of a more emotionally intelligent environment. And because of the accelerating rate of global change, we’re experiencing. Emotional Intelligence represents the future of organizational development. It isn’t a solution to the tsunami of change we’re facing. It’s the only solution.

 

Damon Pistulka  09:43

Now it does, as you said, change coming faster. We got our old brain trying to protect us, keeping us behind unless we’ve developed this emotional intelligence that allows us to move past our comfort

 

Phil Johnson  09:59

zone another example According to Gallup, the current level of employee engagement worldwide, is around 13%. Low levels of employee engagement across the US economy over a trillion dollars a year. And there’s almost a one to one correlation between the level of employee engagement and the level of customer engagement. So if you’re if your employees don’t feel engaged with your customers, and that’s a direct reflection of the toxic work environments, people are fit people are facing because of an unwillingness to change, they don’t feel safe, they don’t feel safe to take risks.

So if you’re not willing to change yourself, which most people aren’t, because of the biological and sociological resistance, we have to change, the only alternative we have is to try and use position based power to control or manipulate others to get them to change, because we’re unwilling to change. And that’s the way we’ve been operating for a very, very long time. That’s why it’s such a low level of employee engagement. And that’s why over 80% of m&a Ventures fail, lack of trust.

So, the development of emotional intelligence is a root cause solution to all drama, chaos and conflict. And by developing your emotional intelligence, you may want to write this one down. The development of your emotional intelligence will enable you to out care your competition. And that’s what Apple has proven. The development of the most, if Apple wanted to get into banking, and they know nothing about banking. Yeah, it had 10 million depositors overnight. Even though people realize that they know, if Apple decides to get into it, people are going to trust them, that they’ll figure it out.

And because of the accelerating rate of change, there’s something called the trust economy that’s developed. It’s currently estimated at over $10 trillion a year, it’s growing much faster than the traditional economy. Because people can’t keep up. Things are happening so fast, that they’re being forced to rely more and more on their network of trusted advisors. So that your, your trust ability, your network as an individual or organization of people that trust you is the most valuable asset you have. And the key to demonstrating trust ability is emotional intelligence. Wow.

 

Damon Pistulka  13:04

Yeah. Well, you make a great point, if Apple could get into whatever they could build the car, and there’s people will build it, they will buy the cars not even knowing the reliability or anything just because it’s apple.

 

Phil Johnson  13:18

Let me give you another piece of information. Because humanity has evolved from tribes from Hertz, we’ve had to develop the ability to sense if somebody’s trying to help us or eat us. So that we have these specialized brain cells in our prefrontal cortex, that brain scientists called mirror neurons, you’re able to sense that’s why you’re able to sense when somebody is trying to help you or hurt you. That’s why when you walk into a room, you’re able to sense the energy in the room. That’s why when you’re having a conversation with somebody, you’re able to sense whether you’re trying to help you or hurt you. So the point is, that you can’t fake being authentic.

You can’t fake the real. So as you develop your emotional intelligence, people become more trusting around you, and you become a more inspirational leader. It also raises your level of consciousness about what’s going on in your round, you see robot actually conscious about three to 5% of the time, the rest of the time, we’re relying on our habits to determine our behavior and our results. And so the habits associated with developing your emotional intelligence have been proven to generate both career personal and corporate Access all over the world.

 

Damon Pistulka  15:03

Yeah. Wow. That’s it. I, when I, when we talked before now I’m talking again, it’s just it’s amazing how you’ve come from how you’ve come thought this through to the point of what the underlying root cause, right? Because when we think about why our brains doing what we do, and then and then into how that translates into us resisting change having to get outside of our comfort zone, those kinds of things. It’s, it’s amazing because we’ve we don’t we do this, we don’t even realize we do it a lot of times, I’m sure,

 

Phil Johnson  15:45

almost all the time. And

 

Damon Pistulka  15:50

so when you look at emotional intelligence, now you help people as we talk Taos says developing emotional intelligence. So how do you really begin to develop your emotional intelligence?

 

Phil Johnson  16:03

Great question. And there’s only one way to do that, you have to start out, you have to form an emotional connection to the vision of a desired result that motivates you to move outside of your comfort zone in pursuit of that result. Without that, without that emotional connection, you won’t be willing to do the emotional labor, that the development of emotional intelligence requires, you may want better results than you’re currently getting. But you won’t, you won’t get the results you want. Because your fear is controlling your behavior.

Yeah, so it’s always true, there’s only two sources of motivation that will cause us to leave our comfort zone. One is paying the other one is passion. And hard, everybody’s connected with their passion. So for the most part, the initial motivation for people to do the work to change requires this pain, it’s an urgent desire for better results than they’re currently getting. And that’s great. Because we can take that motivation in create remarkable results without that motivation, nothing changes. Yeah.

 

Damon Pistulka  17:34

So you’re saying in the, in the initial onset, you’re you, you’ve tried to use pain to help to start and then passion to Oh, I just, I don’t quite so.

 

Phil Johnson  17:49

So the primary first question I asked people, is, what are you? What do you want to see when somebody tells you what they want also telling you what they don’t have. And the bigger the gap between where they are versus where they want to be, the more motivated they are the solution to close that gap. And without that motivation, change is impossible. So you need that motivation. You need that, that drive towards a desired result. Yeah, to create the change process. And as you’re going through it. There’s, there are five primary outcomes that come from that.

You develop your emotions, you begin the process of developing your emotional intelligence, you become a more inspirational leader, you raise your level of consciousness about what’s going on, in you and around you. You become freer from your ego based fear and your current career personal and corporate success. So all of those are benefits from doing the emotional labor require that makes and as you actually, so as you go through the NPL process, the motivation changes from a motivation based on fear to motivation based on passion, it changes from trying to get away from something to try and move towards something.

 

Damon Pistulka  19:30

Yeah. Yeah. Because I think ultimately, the fear part of it has to subside someday because you’re seeing some success in what you’re doing and then you realize and you go, yeah, it’s still uncomfortable. But I know I’m going to do this because I’ve seen the results from doing it. I know this is gonna suck or whatever gonna make me feel bad for you know, whatever. I always and I’m bad. I was not bad. But I always like to relate things to do athletics, because athletics is so easy. You know, nobody wants to train for a marathon. But to do a marathon, you got to train for a marathon, you go through hell to train to do something you really want to do. And

 

Phil Johnson  20:17

hmm, an example of the difference between intellectual intelligence and emotional intelligence.

 

Damon Pistulka  20:23

Yeah, that’d be great.

 

Phil Johnson  20:27

Think of your intellectual intelligence, or your ability to do intellectual labor, or somebody giving you $10,000 a day for 31 days. So at the end of 31 days, you got $310,000. Think of your emotional intelligence as somebody giving you a penny a day that doubles in value. So then when you get a penny did you get two pennies, day three, you’ve got four pennies, a 31, you’ve got $10.7 million to pay for you’ve got over 5,000,000,050, you’ve got over 5 trillion. UC Berkeley, did a four year study, comparing intellectual intelligence was emotional intelligence.

And they concluded that emotional intelligence was 400% more valuable in predicting success. In business and in life, that intellectual intelligence, see it’s functional intelligence is genetic. It’s fixed. If you have a high IQ, your parents have a high IQ, their parents had a high IQ, and you simply inherited those genes. But emotional intelligence is something that anybody can develop. It’s not an intellectual process. It’s an experiential process.

So whereas not everybody could have 160 IQ. Everybody can develop their emotional intelligence, and the ROI is massively greater than intellectual intelligence. See, our educational system has failed us. And our employment system has failed us, because they focus primarily on our ability to do intellectual labor. And they’ve done little or nothing to develop our emotional intelligence. But because of the tsunami of change we’re facing the development of our emotional intelligence is a must have skill to be able to navigate our way through the fear and anxiety that change triggered triggers in us.

 

Damon Pistulka  22:47

Yeah, yep. Yeah. And we have a question here, too. So I want to get this. Doctor am Should we have a formal defined emotional strategy evolved and implemented in organization? That’s a good question.

 

Phil Johnson  23:05

There is a there is a methodology for organization change. And there is a methodology for individual change. But you can’t have organizational change without individual change first, yeah. So and this gets into a different topic as well related topic area, and it has to do with energy physics, which I’ve been improving over the last 22 years. But to answer the question briefly. The more emotionally intelligent individuals there are in the organization, the lowest toxicity, there is any organization and you reach a tipping point where the organization can begin to heal itself.

Okay, the focus needs to be developing emotional intelligence, once about 20 to 25% of the people in your organization. Demonstrating emotional intelligence and their behavior, your organization begins to self correct. And the drama, chaos and conflict begins to reduce itself. Your organization begins to heal itself. There’s less toxicity, there’s higher levels of engagement and trust is actually better results with less effort and more fun. So but you can’t change an organization can’t change culture without beginning with the individual.

 

Damon Pistulka  24:57

Yeah, yeah. I think that’s a great it’s not

 

Phil Johnson  25:01

a top down process. It’s a bottom up process.

 

Damon Pistulka  25:04

Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Yep. And this is a great this from Paul Van Meter. A students don’t generally go on to be the most successful. Yep, you’re right and so true. So true.

 

Phil Johnson  25:20

Ever, ever heard the phrase hired for hired for IQ and experience and fire for lack of emotional intelligence? When we get scared, we run our strength and away from our weakness. So if the way we’ve been getting brownie points in our life is based on our ability to do intellectual labor based on our That’s where we run to, to try and solve every problem. You will say, Well, you’ve got a hammer, everything looks like a nail. Yes. So people typically with high IQs have low levels of emotional intelligence, because they haven’t done the emotional labor required to develop it.

 

Damon Pistulka  26:14

Yeah, yeah. It makes. Yeah, yeah. And so as, as you come, come back here again. And in talking about this, and we’re talking about, I think this is so cool, though, that you’ve taken it down to the point of pointing 25% of the people out there demonstrating reasonably good emotional intelligence that starts to really allow the organization to self heal and do some do some good things.

So as you’re doing this, then what when you go into organizations, because I’m assuming you’re coaching individuals, but multiple individuals from an organization? How, what kind of process is this? We’re taking somebody through this is this is a year long process that you like it’s in an organization? Is it? Is it a lifelong? Is it something that you start them on a path? And you kind of have to? I mean, I’m just curious on that, yeah,

 

Phil Johnson  27:14

sort of your questions, you answered your questions is yes. That’s not what I wanted. I had to ask I had yet Bill program and master Business Leadership Program is initially a 16 week program. But there are organizations and executives I’ve been working with for over 13 years, because the ROI keeps getting greater and greater and greater as you work towards mastery of the habits and micro skills in the program. So the ROI keeps getting greater and greater. And if that’s if that’s the case, why would you ever want to stop?

 

Damon Pistulka  28:05

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it’s, it’s, again, I take it back to athletics, but getting ourselves into shape, you don’t want to get into shape and then stop working out. You want to continue to refine and get in a little better shape and a little better shape here.

 

Phil Johnson  28:20

Here’s the thing. Here’s, here’s the, here’s the thing to keep in mind as well. When focusing on our physical ability, we’re fighting a losing battle. Yes, because our bodies are wearing out over time. So we’re putting in more and more effort for less of our return on investment.

The opposite is true. In developing our emotional intelligence, the ROI never gets less. The ROI continues to grow exponentially in value. So it’s the development of your emotional intelligence has the greatest ROI. It’s greater than physical labor. It’s greater than intellectual labor. It’s, it’s the best investment you can make.

 

Damon Pistulka  29:30

Well, and I can only imagine that it is because if you get more and more comfortable with embracing where you’re going to go, and then doing what you need to go there without the hesitation without the while, we can’t do it because of that, the better you are and the better you are communicating that and helping everyone feel that way. In an organization it is it’s the way that you can move mountains

 

Phil Johnson  30:00

It’s called enlightenment. It’s, you’re right. It’s amazing. It’s phenomenal. It’s incredible. It’s interesting. So folks, people, executives that are going through the program, as they’re going through the program, they go, Holy crap, this stuff. This is amazing. This is remarkable.

And I say, Yes, I agree it is. But is there anything I could have said to you in the beginning? They could have prepared you for what you know now. And the answer, they always say is no, there’s nothing you could have told me. They could have prepared me for what I know now. And see, that’s the difference between knowing something intellectually, and knowing something experientially, there’s no book you can read, there’s no conversation you can have, there’s no video you can watch, it’s going to develop your emotional intelligence, because those are intellectual processes.

The development of emotional intelligence is an experiential process. It’s not an intellectual process, to what you do, not what you think, as a matter of fact, what you do will change what you think. See, we’re all telling ourselves a story to justify whatever we’re doing and not doing. It’s called a rational why. And if one of the things I say to people before I started coaching them, is I don’t care what you think. I only care what you do.

Because what you do, what you do will change what you say. What you said today, is simply a reflection of what you’ve been doing or not doing. So if you want better results in your current budgeting, that has to change, your actions have to change. And that will automatically change the story you’re telling yourself. So what’s the point in understanding what you think you have to focus on what you do? And the thinking was automatically adjust?

 

Damon Pistulka  32:19

Yeah, that makes that makes tremendous sense.

 

Phil Johnson  32:22

You have to actuate the better results. Yeah, not think your way into better results.

 

Damon Pistulka  32:29

Yeah, that’s a great point, act your way to better results.

 

Phil Johnson  32:35

And that requires you to leave your comfort zone and move through the anxiety that creates, you want to go the other two sources of resistance to change. What are they? What is one of the one is biological as well, the other one sociological, the other biological source of resistance they have changed is our existing habits. See, once we develop a habit to neural number pathway in our brain, we develop through our actions. And when we practice something enough, there’s a process called automaticity work converts from being a conscious activity to an unconscious habit. So once we develop a habit, it’s there forever.

And although we could develop new habits at any age, because new habits are always going to be weaker than our old habits called brain plasticity or neurogenesis, because there’s a there’s a coating that goes around the neural network pathway called myelin. It’s like an insulation layer. And it’s thicker, when we’re younger than when we’re older. So there’s going to be an ongoing battle internally within us between old and new habits for dominance, even though the new habits can work better, there’s going to be that ongoing struggle. So that’s the second biological source of resistance, we have to change.

The third, social logical is that people around us don’t want us to change. Because if we change and start to get better results, maybe they’re going to have to change and that scares the hell out of them. So the best way to ensure they don’t have to change is to make sure we fail. So they can say, Look, I told you to shut up, get your head down and come back to the rest of us. So even though and this is really my point, that the development of our emotional intelligence, guarantees career personal and corporate success. You it’s harder than hell to do and if you don’t have any emotional connection with a desired result. That’s great. That’s greater than your fear. You won’t be able to do it.

You won’t be able to do the emotional labor required. I had the very good fortune of being born with dyslexia. But I can tell you, if I hadn’t been born with dyslexia is very little to dads are doing the work of doing today. So we need, the people I work with have to have an urgent desire for better results than they’re currently getting. That motivates them to be willing to leave their comfort zone. And I can guide them through the process like a Sherpa, but I can’t do the work for them. We all have to do our own emotional labor.

 

Damon Pistulka  35:32

Yeah, but you make one good point. And this is where I think that anything, any change, there has to be desire and enough passion to put in the work. Because you’re

 

Phil Johnson  35:47

saying, I think this applies to hear this from our doctors a lot. If somebody could talk you out of doing something, let them because it wasn’t that important to you anyhow. See if you can be talked out of not pursuing your desired result. It simply means that it’s not that important to you. Yeah. When you can’t be talked out of a desired result. That’s the measure of the emotional connection, you have to that desired result. And that’s the fundamental starting point. For Change.

 

Damon Pistulka  36:28

Yeah, that’s awesome. When you can’t be taught out of a desired result. Yeah.

 

Phil Johnson  36:35

Let me give you two examples. Yeah. Tommy Edison invented the light bulb, took him 1800 experiments. And somebody says, Jesus taught me that’s a lot of failure. What do you mean? He said, I just need some genetic memories not to make a life goal. Yeah. See, his focus was always on making your life simple. And he didn’t, he didn’t do those 1700 99 experiments as failure. He looked at them as information. Same thing as Disney, Disney got turned down by over 2000 banks, before he was actually able to, to generate enough revenue to generate enough funding to begin construction of Disney World. And he died before it was completed.

And somebody has human said, Jesus, and God will never get a chance to see his dream come true. Okay, so why you did. And if he hadn’t already seen it, then we wouldn’t be seeing. So he had a, he had an emotional connection to a desired result. That motivated him to keep moving forward. And keep adjusting his presentation until he was able to get that funding to begin the construction. That’s the importance of having that emotional connection that motivates us to leave our comfort zone and keep moving forward. So do you think that’s the starting point?

 

Damon Pistulka  38:08

Now, when you say that, trying to bring that into to people we see around us today? Do you think like an Elon Musk that just jumps out there and says, Listen, we’re going to create this company called SpaceX. And we’re going to figure out how to land rockets that nobody has never done and we don’t even know how the hell we’re going to do it. Is that the kind of thing?

 

Phil Johnson  38:29

Sure, sure. Elon, was one hour away from going bankrupt on top and Tesla. Yeah, he put his last 20 million bucks into keeping the company afloat. So he was willing to risk everything, financially. I mean, he was on the verge of emotional breakdown. That’s a pretty strong emotional connection.

 

Damon Pistulka  39:04

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Because it really is. And we’re not talking about when we talk about things. It’s not like we’re talking about bad things. It’s just when you talk about that desired connection that you need to do what it takes to put the work in to do what you need to do. It’s, it can be making those last calls taking that risk. It could be, you know, pushing, pushing a little bit farther beyond your going

 

Phil Johnson  39:31

muscles. Yeah, could be anything. drawing with crayons, it’s, it’s not what you do. It’s how you do what you do. That’s most important. It’s the degree of consciousness or presence that you demonstrate in the moment. Because the moment is all that exists. There Moment is all that will ever exist, there will never be a future moment.

Because no past moment, the only time we can take an action and generate a result is this moment. And how we show up in this moment determines our results. Wow, well there will ever be is this moment. And we spend most of our time trying to think trying to get out of this moment into some magical future moment that we think is better than this moment. So it reduces our consciousness and damages our results. Yeah, this moment. Yeah, it’s ego based fear.

So your ego, our ego never wants us to be in this moment. It wants us to be focused on some mystical better future moment, or some past moment. And so it’s because that’s, it’s easiest for our ego, to use fear, to keep us from moving outside of our comfort zone. Being able to be more present in this moment, is the key to freedom from fear. It’s the key to freedom from ego based fear. See, our egos want us to feel superior to or inferior to others. But it never wants us to feel equal to others. And all of this, everything we’ve been talking about is all related to energy physics.

So in that, what that means is that the results of doing this work guaranteed. It’s like when you flip on a light switch, light switch doesn’t think, well, am I going to turn on? It has to turn on flow of electrons. Same thing with this. Because this is essentially energy, energy physics. You cannot go through this process and do the work required and not succeed. It’s impossible. Yeah. Having said that, I’ve outlined how challenging it is. Yeah. Both biologically and sociologically. Yeah. And that’s why most people aren’t willing to do it. That’s why we live in the world we live in.

 

Damon Pistulka  43:00

Yeah, well, I mean, yeah. You look at like you said, biologically, we have our habits that are fighting against us. And then you look at sociologically, I mean, how many times you hear about this, or you’ve got an idea that you know, is what you should be doing? And you talk to somebody say, Are you sure you know, you really? Did you?

 

Phil Johnson  43:25

Really? Yeah. Really want to put your hand up?

 

Damon Pistulka  43:28

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you really want to do that? Are you sure you want to do I mean, and they’re doing it because like you said, they want to the ape, if it’s someone that loves you, they may be doing because they want to protect you. And they’re choosing their own fears and judgments are against the measuring against that idea. They don’t have your frame of reference, nor do they have the passion to do what it takes to get there.

 

Phil Johnson  43:53

Nor do they want you to leave them behind.

 

Damon Pistulka  43:55

Yes, yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. That’s something is what do you talk about the end and this is something personally I really come to terms with is living in the present moment. Experience is experiencing that second, that moment, giving it your attention and doing it. And it is life changing to understand and do that.

 

Phil Johnson  44:24

Write this down. Here’s another say for you. For your listeners. The person most presents is most influential. The person most present is most influential. Here’s another thing developing your emotional intelligence will enable you to care your competition Yeah, apples prove that yeah, fits pretty well.

 

Damon Pistulka  45:04

Out carrying him. Yep. Well, like you said they’ve taken it is and you see this in people that really have great products and services is they care about their customer’s experience and that they’re getting exactly what they need or want in that situation. And it’s not it’s not it’s but they really want to work on that more than the product itself.

 

Phil Johnson  45:32

Yes, let me give you another thing to consider. If somebody doesn’t want to work with you, if they don’t trust you, they’ll find a way not to work with you, even if you have the best technology and the best pricing. Conversely, if they want to work with you, they trust you. They’ll find a way to work with you. Even if you don’t have the best technology, or the best pricing and traceability is the key. And the key to trust ability is emotional intelligence.

 

Damon Pistulka  46:19

That is 100%. Because if they know like and trust you,

 

Phil Johnson  46:25

we have these mirror neurons, these bullshit leaders, you can’t fake being authentic. So as you develop your emotional intelligence, you lower your walls, you become less resistant, judgmental, attached outcomes, which enables people to trust you to be inspired by you to want to be around you. That’s a lot.

 

Damon Pistulka  46:54

Oh, no, I love talking to you about this. And I just I’m trying to soak it in and try to ask intelligent questions. Because honestly, I start to listen, and I’m just like, my mind is just trying to soak it in because it is you talk about these things, and you go all the way back to, you need enough desire to drive the change to do what you need to do. And you talk about how Apple uses it. And you talk about how other people like Elon Musk and you know, willing to want it so much they’re gonna go right to that edge.

And, and, and how the other thing you talked about is the person most present is the most influential. And you and you go back to situations where you’ve been in, been in those with rooms of people. And that person, you can see that person in the room. They’re truly listening. They’re trying to understand what is going on, really at a deep level. They’re not thinking about next week, they’re not thinking about yesterday, they’re thinking about today, and how am I here? And how am I going to be valuable in this situation? As valuable as I can be in here?

 

Phil Johnson  48:03

Pretty cool.

 

Damon Pistulka  48:04

Yeah. Yeah. Phil, I always love talking to you. I love reading your stuff, because it is so thought provoking. And in, you know, I believe 100% in the fact that, you know, your emotional intelligence really does have it controls how far you’re gonna go on what you’re going to be able to do.

And I have one last quick question, though, because we’re kind of running out of time. But this is, this is one that I really think that if we could answer from my mind is, why is it especially important now to have more important emotional intelligence than any other time with what we’ve got going on in the economy and COVID? All these other things? Why do you think it’s even more important now to understand this and really

 

Phil Johnson  49:01

making money as easy. generating revenue is easy. Career advancement is easy. success in your business and personal life is easy. There’s another big thing going on here. We’re at a tipping point as a species on the planet. We’re facing some scientists estimate of in a century, we could experience roughly the equivalent of 20,000 years worth of change, or 200 century with change. Change is increasing at an exponential rate.

And we’ve got a 500 million year old brain that doesn’t like change. We have to change our trajectory dramatically. Because the way we’re living today is unsustainable. There isn’t a single other species on the planet. That wouldn’t be better off if we didn’t exist. We are the virus on the planet. And we’re A lot of times we’ve been on the planet for less than half of one second. And in that time, we’ve destroyed the climate.

We’re facing things like CRISPR, cast nine G to date, technology, AI, other pandemics. Without the development of our emotional intelligence to deal with the fear and anxiety that triggers in us, I don’t believe we have a chance of making it out of this century as a species. So the reason I’m having these conversations, the reason I’m trying to help people understand the value or importance of developing their emotional intelligence embedding on themselves to develop their emotional intelligence is because we’re running out of time, to change our trajectory dramatically, in the next 10 to 20 years.

And without the development of our emotional intelligence, that will be impossible. So you want to make more by easy one with ads in your career easy. You want to get better? personal success, easy. But there’s a whole other bigger reason here, why we need to be investing in the development of our emotional intelligence. problem that’s not gonna go away, unless we change. That’s the real motivation I have for doing the work I’ve been doing.

 

Damon Pistulka  51:43

Yeah. That’s awesome. That’s awesome. Because you’re right, we have to, there are things that we have to change. Because we’re, in a lot of ways headed in the wrong directions. And in they’re not easy conversations, and they’re not easy changes or easy solutions. And but we have it in us if we, if we choose to do it. And we

 

Phil Johnson  52:07

can’t wait. See, we’re pretty decent at dealing with chaos, once it becomes chaos. But it reminds me I was saying, Mark Twain said once before, a long time ago, he said, The only way mankind can experience I see my hope for mankind. Meaning if the only way we can learn not to put our hand on the stove, is by putting our hand on the stove. That assumes we’re going to be around to learn from it. And a lot of the challenges we’re facing, you don’t get to do over. You got to get it right the first time. And that requires a level of emotional intelligence, a level of wisdom that we need to be developing. All of us. Yeah, yeah. Awesome. Phil,

 

Damon Pistulka  52:56

I can’t thank you enough for spending time today. Because it is great to get to talk to you about emotional intelligence. And I want to make sure that people if you’re listening here, reach out to Phil on LinkedIn, connect with them. Check out the Master of Business Leadership. And what’s your website is? What’s your what? Oh, yeah. Okay. It’s all.

 

Phil Johnson  53:19

Yeah, take a look at the profile. I think I’m not sure but I can. If somebody wants to chat with me, I can send you a link to my Zoom calendar. And pick a day at a time to jump on. They’re

 

Damon Pistulka  53:32

very good. They’ll reach out to you on LinkedIn and find it. But Phil, thanks so much for stopping by and talking about emotional intelligence. I think that you can, the thing that is really nice about talking with you, I love how you can bring this down into into a very complex topic into something that we can understand. And I appreciate and thank you for helping us today.

 

Phil Johnson  53:55

Oh, my pleasure, David. Thank you for the work you’re doing.

 

Damon Pistulka  54:00

I mean, with people like yourself today, this is such an interesting conversation. And I think of things in life and see people it’s so great to be able to talk to you about it. Thanks for being here. All right. Thanks, everyone, for listening. We’ll be back again next week with another interesting guests on the faces of business. Like I said, reach out to Phil Johnson on LinkedIn and connect with him if you want to learn more from him, and we’ll be back again. Have a great evening.

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