Stop Parenting and Start Coaching
Stop Parenting and Start Coaching
In this, The Faces of Business, Steve Galley & Nate Crandall, Founders, Create. Transform. Become, talk about why parents may consider rethinking the parenting role and look at it as “coaching” instead of parenting. Create. Transform. Become helps educate parents on different ways they can raise awesome children.
Steve and Nate are highly experienced teachers and coaches who have helped hundreds of young people develop their personal and sports skills.
Nate has 20+ years of experience as an HS teacher and head coach at multiple high enrollment schools (basketball, golf). Nate teaches –psychology, sport psychology, & leadership. Nate has created a student/faculty personal development program where he has created and delivered over 50 mini “Ted Talk” style presentations. Nate individually coaches teens, parents & adults in mental performance. Nate is a total running geek. He has completed multiple marathons and is training for the 2024 Boston Marathon.
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Steve has over 30 years of experience as an HS teacher and basketball head coach at multiple high enrollment high schools. Steve recently retired from teaching to devote his time to his coaching individual high-performance coaching and the Create. Transform. Become endeavors. Steve has completed multiple marathons and is a two-time Ironman triathlete. Steve wants to help as many people as possible through coaching and courses that make a difference.
Damon welcomes Steve and Nate, highly seasoned teachers, to the live stream. Damon believes that the rapid increase in select sports has created tension between parents and students. So, he invites the guests’ views on it. But first, the host asks them to talk about their backgrounds.
Nate describes that both his parents are educators. So, he grew up in a classroom environment. Moreover, helping his mother in her classroom defined the features of his future profession to be a teacher. At 19, after high school, he connected with his high school basketball coach. So, he became a baseball coach and a biology teacher. “I ran through that for about 13 years,” he says. However, Nate’s coaching and parenting approach radically changed when he got his master’s in adolescent psychology. He realized it when he raised his youngest daughter.
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Similarly, Damon is interested to learn Steve’s background. “Well, I’m the son of an unhappy lawyer,” Steve answers. Because he enjoyed good terms with his high school basketball coach, at 15, Steve had decided that his “dream career was to be a high school teacher and coach. He further discloses, “Nate is one of my former assistant coaches.” Once, after the COVID shutdown, they coincidently met and decided to explore entrepreneurial ventures. To help people, they started content-making, creating courses and educational podcasts.
Nate reveals that their “mutually beneficial relationship” started back in 2008. Because Nate was an assistant coach, he desired to be a head coach. Once he became one, Steve inspired him “to be a better coach.”
Nate discloses that when Steve retired from teaching and coaching, they became a team with over 50 years of combined experience. “I loved working with kids. He (Steve) loved working with their parents.” Their approach is to help parents and “their kids feel empowered and encouraged and equipped to be better as performers.”
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Create. Transform. Become aims to share some online courses, develop the mindset in both the parents and the teens, to excel and “not compromise their relationships in the process.” Steve continues to inform the audience that they desire to bridge the communication gap between parents and children.
While talking about some of the challenges they face, Nate adds that “the biggest one is the pressure” to perform. Some kids spend an extra 20 to 40 hours a week after school practicing their routines. “And that creates pressure.” This pressure creates fractures and shatter-points. It reflects in “procrastination” and “perfectionism.”
However, every step parents take is for the betterment of their children. Nate describes that the kids cannot understand “how much their parents love them.” They take steps for their kids’ success. The guest also traces the origin of the pressure. Parents feel it because they love their kids. The kids, too, feel pressure because they are driven by a desire to please their parents. “And so they want to show them that they’re successful. And somehow that turns into everybody getting depressed and yelling at each other.”
This argument moves Damon into talking about his own parenting technique. He says that, at times, there were situations that put his son under pressure. Damon quickly learned to put his kid at ease.
Nate further shares that teaching parents and children how to handle this stress is one of the reasons to start the podcast. Through the podcast, they have reached their audience on a broader spectrum. He notes a striking difference between commonplace parenting and coaching. As parents, we want to tell our kids how to fix problems. While as coaches, we invite them into a discussion and help them to create solutions on their own.
The guest gives a useful piece of advice on asking the right questions in the right manner. “As long as the questions are coming from a place,” he continues, “we just want to hear more about what went on.” The greatest phrase we can use is “tell me more.” Suppose the kid says, “I was awful out there today.” Instead of asking disgruntled questions, “Oh, tell me more” can be a great phrase.
Damon asks Steve if the latter ever had an idea that he would coach parents that way. He responds that he grew up with authoritarian coaches. At that time, punishments were normal. When he himself became a father of two sons, he realized the gap between parents and kids. He became a coach to bring parents out of a “consultancy mode.” A “coaching mode where you lead with curiosity” is good.
Two things excite Steve. Firstly, it is their entrepreneurial journey. Secondly, the initiatives they are taking for society in its greater benefit. He feels proud when he “can provide easy, pretty affordable ways. His son calls this his “encore career.”
Steve brings to light his views about parenting. He believes “parenting is the hardest job, and there’s not a close second.” If a parent can open their mind, listen and try different approaches, skills, techniques, and discipline, they can do great good for their children. Society will progress “if people can break through some old mindset, limiting belief.”
Nate distinguishes the coaching approach from parenting. A coach guides players with correct principles and makes them play the game. The players own it, and they play at higher levels. The same coaching approach equips, encourages, and empowers kids.
As a coach, Steve observes that “more teams and players are destroyed at dinner tables and locker rooms than they ever are on the court.” Whatever parents say to their children “has a huge impact.” We tend to focus only on what’s happening on the court but ignore the dinner tables.
Nate argues that they make children confident. They can “get thrown in a weird situation if they have confidence.” Moreover, the performance arena is a perfect place to develop that confidence. He determines that “as parents and coaches, it should be our end game to equip these kids with that knowledge.”
Steve reveals his next big game. They plan on recording multiple episodes and stacking them so they can release one video per week without any stress.
Nate vows to “make a difference for thousands of people.” Viewers can watch one of our courses if they connect directly with them. Their approach will make a difference in how they parent their kids. They have one-on-one immersive coaching material about parenting.
The discussion comes to an end with Damon thanking Steve and Nate for their time.
coaching, parents, kids, create, podcast, nate, people, pressure, started, running, steve, work, talking, sports, son, performer, love, teams, equip, high school
Nate Crandall, Damon Pistulka, Steve Galley
Damon Pistulka 00:00
Everyone welcome once again to the faces of business. I am Damon Pistulka. And boy, are we going to have a lot of fun today. Because with me today, I’ve got Nate Crandall, and Steve galley. And we’re going to be talking about stop parenting and start coaching. And we’re going to understand why some parents may want to take a coaching approach instead of the traditional parent approach with those if you’re a parent of a performer, and these guys know what they’re talking about. So, Nate, Steve, welcome.
Nate Crandall 00:37
Thanks for having us.
Steve Galley 00:38
Damon Pistulka 00:39
This is awesome. This is awesome. Well, we were in the backstage in the green room talking, and I gotta go in, and they gotta go on. And we’re a few minutes late, but I apologize if anyone’s been out there and wondering where we’re at. And if you left already, you can always come back and check it later. But, guys, I’m excited to have you on today.
Because what we are going to be talking about, I think is so incredibly important. You know, because, you know, so many so many parents today, and I was just talking with with one of my clients this week, he’s going to have a daughter and in select soccer, and a son that’s in select lacrosse. And these kids are not very old, you know, these are the 1012 year old kids. And they the proliferation of the Select sports and clubs, sports and kids playing sports younger and more often throughout, I think, creates a lot of tension between parents and children.
And I’m really interested to see what you guys have to say about, you know, give us some other ideas, and maybe some alternative thoughts and the whole process. So let’s let’s start out like you normally do Nate launch it tell us a little bit about yourself and your background and kind of how you got into coaching beyond what you’ve done in schools and teams and everything else.
Nate Crandall 02:06
So both of my parents are educators. So I grew up around the classroom environment, I helped my mom a ton in her classroom as I was going to school. And that kind of propelled me down the road of of teaching. But when I was about 19, I graduated from high school, and I connected with my high school basketball coach. And he, we got talking, and I got on the staff with him. And so I started coaching sports, as well as pursuing the teacher in education. And so I got into the coaching part, the teaching part.
And I ran through that for about 13 years, teaching biology, coaching, basketball, doing all those things. And then I started to get into psychology. And I went back and got my master’s in psychology, and I was coaching golf and basketball and doing all those things at the same time. And as I got further and further into the psychology, it really changed my coaching approach. And when it changed my coaching approach, I noticed that changed my parenting approach.
And by this time, my kids were all a little bit older. And I realized with my youngest, I’m a way better parents when I’m coaching my daughter than I am when I’m trying to be a parent. And that was really that’s kind of where where I ended up with this is, you know, screwing up a whole bunch with my my older kids, and then kind of starting to figure a few things out by applying some of the coaching principles instead of you know, just the parenting stuff. Yeah, that’s how I ended up here.
Damon Pistulka 03:38
Yeah, so So you apologize to your older kids that you just
Nate Crandall 03:43
and frequently I still have
Steve Galley 03:50
I had a lunch meeting with my youngest daughter who’s a young adult yesterday and I apologized to her for being a poor parent and asked for permission to do a reset. And we had a great coaching session. It was awesome.
Damon Pistulka 04:10
Yeah, I’m writing down a couple notes there and I need to do that. So Steve, tell us about your give us your background to so we got it from Nate, let’s hear from you.
Steve Galley 04:21
Well, I’m the son of an unhappy lawyer. And I I knew at age 15 That my dream career was to be a high school teacher and coach and that was because of my high school basketball coach. He coached me in football my sophomore year and in basketball, my sophomore through senior year.
And him along with my dad. They were the two best coaches I had as a as a young person. And that was just my dream dream career. I just finished it after 32 years and So it’s, I mean, through a weird kind of series of events, Nate is one of my former assistant coaches, when I was still coaching, basketball, and through COVID, and I mean, we could list about 15 to 20.
Other so called coincidences that have happened. It’s brought us to the point where we have one on one, high performance coaching practices that we do, and create, transform and become really, I think, started last fall last time last year, about this time last year, probably on a long distance run somewhere. And it’s just gradually grown. And I don’t know every day is we just learned something new every day about the entrepreneurial side of things.
And really, what we love is creating the content. And just, you know, we’re creating courses, and we’re starting the podcast. And we really, I mean, basically, we want to help 1000s of parents, and in turn help their teams, for example, like your clients, children who are there joining these club teams, and I can just, I can promise you, there’s gonna be some tension, there’s gonna be some, there’s gonna be some challenges as they navigate that road. And that’s, we’re trying to address those and help people.
Damon Pistulka 06:46
Yeah, yeah. That’s awesome. That’s awesome. And we’ll, we’ll get more into the into into some of the things that you’re seeing, because I’m sure you guys have tons of great examples, because there are there are definitely challenges in that. So as long as you guys you came together, did it did coaching these these parents did? How did that idea just evolve? Did you? You know, where did that come from?
Nate Crandall 07:17
So our relationship started back in about 2008, when he brought me on as an assistant coach. And I really looked up to him because I was trying to be a head coach at the time. And I learned a lot from him that he was running. And so that was kind of the impetus that got me running. And a little bit later on, when I became a head coach, he would share stuff with me that would kind of inspire me to try to be a better coach. Well, that was when I got into doing some of the the executive coaching, life coaching, that kind of stuff, the one on one, high performance coaching.
And then I took that back to him. And Steve was actually one of my clients. And he was so amazing at it. And now he’s actually turned himself into a better life coach than I’ve ever been. And it’s been really fun to watch his growth. So as we kind of did that back and forth, mutually beneficial relationship, we got to the point where, you know, Steve retired from teaching, retired from coaching, and now he was looking for the next thing that he’s going to do to make a difference.
And I loved working with kids, he loved working with their parents. And so we got to talking about what he’s going to do this whole life coaching thing, how Steve had gotten into that and gotten so great at it. And we started to hatch, this idea of, you know, what we should work together to take this message to the people that are really going to need it.
And that’s the parents of these kids, because we’ve been around and we have over 50 years of combined experience in coaching at the high school level. And so we’ve seen pretty much everything when it comes to parent child interactions from the really good ones to the graphically bad ones. And all of them could benefit from tweaking the approach a little bit, to really helping their kids feel empowered and encouraged and equipped to be better as performers. And so that’s where we landed. And so we started messing around with this idea.
And we came up with the idea of create transform become to share some online courses, do some great things that are specifically designed to help develop the mindset in both the parents and the teens to really excel and not compromise their relationships in the process. So that was something that they could go after, but the relationship was not something that got lost.
Damon Pistulka 09:39
Yeah. So that you guys are doing things both for parents and their children.
Nate Crandall 09:45
Yeah. Like I actually do. Steve only has one client that’s that’s younger, but the majority of my clients are actually teens that I do my coaching stuff with. Okay,
Steve Galley 09:57
and Nate is I’m In this is his zone of genius. So I kind of hitched my trailer to this, even though I’ve had lots of experience with with teens when I was coaching them. He actually has a master’s in adolescent psychology. And is, he’s a total, he’s a total geek when it comes to,
Nate Crandall 10:23
I’m proud of it.
Steve Galley 10:24
Yeah. How can I help? How can I help this teenager in this situation? The reason why we’re focusing so much on the parents is the parents are there, they’re the they’re going to be the ones that buy our courses. And it’s really difficult to get just to the teens unless you’re in your local area. And so we are going to, and the parents to be honest, when when we talk with parents, and we do this all the time, and we they all see the problem. Why is my? Why is she not happy they won the game.
Why is Why is she so unhappy, that she’s not playing, he’s playing as much she’s on this great team. They don’t know if they don’t know the right things to say, after games before games, before tryouts. And I think name that we’ve we’ve, we’ve both said all of the wrong things. With our own kids, with our teams. So we have that we have those failures that help us to to get better. We also have watched what, what parents what they say what they do, and in gymnasiums, on courts on fields.
And when we talk to parents there, they actually are asking for help. So not all parents want to help. But we’re we’re going to go try to find those parents that want help. And it’s not that we have all the answers or every answer. But we we definite Well, this guy for sure. He’s a coaching master, he will he will, he will make you think he will make parents think, which is part of the reason for the name of our, our podcast.
Damon Pistulka 12:30
Yeah, yeah, the stop parenting and start coaching. I mean, it really is. It really does make you make you think about this. And let’s just talk a little bit about the differences. That there are when you’ve got a child that’s, that’s a high performer in sports, compared to if you got a child that’s going to school could be really good and academics, but may not have that demand.
That an activity like a football or basketball, lacrosse, whatever the sport is, or even there’s there’s some other I mean, it could be chess club, it doesn’t matter that takes a lot of a lot of this kind of stuff is the same thing. I don’t want to leave any of that out. But there’s just talk about some of the differences that that these parents have to deal with that that’s that just make it challenging.
Nate Crandall 13:26
The biggest one is the pressure. The pressure to perform, because all kids all students feel pressure, the pressure to perform in the classroom. But when you go to the performer route, as well, and this is true across the board, I mean, you got marching band kids that are spending an extra 20 to 40 hours a week after school, practicing their routines. And that creates pressure. The athletes, it’s pressure and the pressure can be it’s real to the kid, and we can all look as adults, we look at that. And that oh, you know, it’s there’s no big deal. We’ll love you no matter what, that they feel it.
And it’s that pressure that creates the fractures. It’s almost like when when a car window gets hit by a rock, you’ve got that shatter point that it creates. And that pressure is often the Shatter point. And so it creates that and then it ripples out from that and the pressure can show up in depression. It can show up in procrastination, perfectionism, and so many different anxieties. Another big one that you see a lot. And so that pressure gets, you know, popping up all over the place.
Damon Pistulka 14:36
Yeah, yeah. That’s that’s a great point. Because that pressure is is. Yeah. And the press A because it’s hard for both the parents and the children. Correct?
Nate Crandall 14:54
Yes. And the parents that this is why wish kids would To understand more than anything else, their parents love them. Absolutely. Like they can’t even comprehend how much their parents love them. And so anything that the parents are doing is almost always coming from a place of we love you, and we want to see you be successful. Yeah, but what the kids ended up picking out of that is often more pressure, because they want, they love their parents. And so they want to perform for their parents.
And that creates a unique kind of pressure, because performing for the person that you love more than anybody else, and you want to have be proud of you. That’s a lot of pressure. Yeah. And so just that dynamic there, you throw coaches out, you throw college scholarships out the window, just the desire that the kids have to perform at high levels for their parents, who they know love them, they know care about them. And they know they’re supporting them financially, showing up for all the games.
And, and so a lot of that pressure actually comes from a place where the parents are driven by love, the kids are driven by this desire to please their parents, and they love them. And so they want to show them that they’re successful. And somehow that turns into everybody getting depressed and yelling at each other.
Damon Pistulka 16:14
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I’ve been there. So I’m gonna turn up a little bit, you know, because my son, my son could have played college baseball if he wanted to. And he chose to go score, which is awesome. But I can remember there were times when he, you know, you know, the work that goes into it. But I can remember now that you’re saying that the experience of him coming off the field and being really disappointed that he didn’t do like he wanted to. And he was a pitcher.
And it was like, you know, there’s two ways you can deal with it. And I think you talked about coming from a place of love. I learned fairly quickly that it really helped to defuse the situation, when I said, You know what, it doesn’t matter. Whatever happens on the field, I love you. Awesome.
And the thing that we would focus on worse, and I saw this in the club that he was at, because it was really good, it says, you know, the games aren’t won on the field as much as they are for your preparation for doing what you’re doing. And that’s a and in that, that was I was fortunate to have that. But it’s, it’s, I imagine, you got to run into people that just don’t understand a the difficulty in the sports, the pressure from the pressure side of it. And they expect more than is really appropriate at times.
Nate Crandall 17:47
Now, it gets very, very complex, very, very fast, you start throwing in expectations, you know, unrealistic or even realistic expectations, and then that, that just it’s part of that fracture web that just rounds out.
Damon Pistulka 18:02
So what are some of the most positive things that you’ve seen, when, when, when you’re working with these, these parents that they can do to, you know, help their children in the right way.
Nate Crandall 18:18
This is actually why we we started the podcast, because we want to throw that stuff out there. And so I appreciate you asking. And as the podcast gets going, you’re going to see more and more of these throughout the each episode. But the first one, we really kind of just jump in with that interaction that you have after a competition. And some of the great things that, that help people to have better interactions after one and at the when the once a competition is done, the result actually doesn’t matter.
And that’s weird to think and that this is part of where the reimagining process comes in. But at that point, there’s nothing prescriptive that I could say, as a parent, that can make them feel better, or that you know, they’re really going to digest and so the focus should be on the athlete asking them questions.
What do you feel you did well today? Like, that’s a powerful question. And it lets them do all the talking. And then as a parent, I can vibe off of that, like if they’re if they’re really down, they’re like, I didn’t do anything well today. Was that totally true? And it just invited them to get into that and if they double down and say, Yeah, I didn’t do anything well, how can you feel that way?
Is there something you feel you could have done better in advance so you could feel like you played better and that’s the real difference in the parenting and coaching approach is often parenting falls into the we want to tell them what to do want to fix it all right now, whereas the coaching approach is is more of a, we invite them into a discussion and help them to create solutions on their own.
And teens need that, like they need to have that skill set where they can generate solutions on their own. And as a parent, we’re in a unique position where if we ask questions, they don’t even have to be the right questions. As long as the questions are coming from a place of I just want to hear more about what went on. We talked about how one of the greatest phrases you can actually say is just tell me more.
If you don’t know what question to ask. And the kids like, oh, man, I was awful out there today. Oh, tell me more. Yeah. And then just let the kids talk. And they’ll they get to the point where they’re like, Yeah, my, my dad just wants to hear what I have on my mind. And then if the kid asks for specific help, now you’re coming from a place where you’re invited in, and your health is being wanted, instead of trying to force it on him. Yeah, so that’s, that’s one big one right off.
Damon Pistulka 21:04
Yeah. So Steve, did you ever think when you’re a coach, that you would turn around and do that do it this way? And coach the parents?
Steve Galley 21:12
Well, it’s so I grew up with all authoritarian coaches. Oh, yeah. Oh, guys, guys, it made you cry. Yeah. But not a happy cry. Yeah. I, you know, running was punishment. Get on the line more Sprint’s and I was fine with it. I was okay with it. It’s it’s not a great approach. Nowadays. It’s not a good approach with kids. Not that there can’t be some discipline rules, boundaries.
But no, it’s funny. You asked that question, Damon, because when we were recording an episode the other day, I was actually kind of I didn’t tell Nathan this, but I was kind of pinching myself, I said, this is a really good shift. This is a really shift for me. And that it has to be a really good shift for a lot of parents to go from. I mean, before we got on the air, you we were talking about lawyers, right? That was kind of depressing.
But we were we were talking about lawyers. And we really we want, we want parents to get out of the consultant mode. There is a time there is a time for that. But when it comes to before a performance after a performance how many dads and I’m going to pick on the dads more than the moms. But how many dads and a few moms want to go in and be a consultant you could have, you should have it it’s a it’s a dead end road. It is a dead end row and you can keep you can keep trying it.
I tried it. Now in fairness, there were times where I was coach and dad, I coach, I coach, I have two sons, my coach them both through through high school was both rewarding and challenging. But the consultant mode not good. A coaching mode where you lead with curiosity. That I mean, that is a great word to lead with some curiosity. Instead of I’ve got the five I’ve got a list of five things that you should have done and you really should listen to me. I know the game just finished but you really should listen to me because if you fix these five things, you’ll be good next time.
Damon Pistulka 23:54
Yeah, yeah, that’s that’s gotta be it’d be a lot different. We have Liz Jones on here from the UK. And I believe Liz was a very, very good fencer, if I remember right, something crazy good at some one of these sports, but so she understand some of this, obviously. But I think that is interest. It’s gotta be really interesting for you. Now that you’re coming around helping parents because let’s face it, there’s no there’s no book that you go, Okay, here’s my parenting book.
And I’m opening it up and doing this right. We’re all winging it. No, I mean, I don’t I don’t care. I mean, my mother went to school for she’s got her doctorate in education and all this kind of junk and psychology, all this, and we still are winging it. So what do you think is the most exciting for you guys to be doing? Do just to be doing this now? What’s the the thing that is most exciting for you?
Nate Crandall 24:52
The thing that’s most exciting for me is the difference that it can make for the kids. Yeah. When if a kid gets a pair and that they feel like genuinely cares about them regardless of their performance. And that relationship can get great. That’s when that’s when you see people really find joy and engagement and confidence and excitement with their life is when they feel like they’re loved and supported no matter what.
And it frees them up to chase their dreams. Like Liz said, the discipline and the boundaries are necessary. If you have a great relationship with your kids, how much easier is it to have conversations about discipline and boundary. And then once the kids understand that, they’re coming from a place of love with those, now they start to live within it and realize how much freedom you actually get when you live within discipline and boundaries. Yeah, that’s exciting to me, I’m pumped,
Steve Galley 25:45
there’s two things that get me real, real excited about this. Number one is the actual entrepreneurial journey that we’re on. Yeah. And at, I don’t know, it’s just, it’s exciting to me to, to try to create something that just started from an idea on a run, and to see, see where we’re at.
And we were getting help. We don’t know what we’re doing, when it comes to that stuff. But we’re getting really good help from lots of really good people. And that makes them awesome, because then we can spend time on the creation part. The second part is the same as Nate, if we can help parents, like I got into high school coaching, because of my high school coach, because of the impact he had on me personally. Yeah.
And so I wanted to do I wanted to do the same. Well, I don’t want to coach basketball anymore for for a multitude of reasons. But this is exciting to me, because in my my son calls this my encore career. I don’t know I’ve got a lot of years, and we can create a lot of good good things for parents help a lot of people that will then help a lot of, of teens and with the with the way that we can create online courses, we can do virtual coaching, it, it’s really cool to know that we can actually have a huge impact outside of our local area, which is that’s I mean, that’s what we’ve done in our teaching and coaching careers.
But now we can help the parents, we can help them dad of baseball players in Seattle, Washington, we can help the we can help the mom we can help the single mom who’s trying to deal with her daughter who’s really good at lacrosse, but could use some some help with this. And we can provide easy, pretty affordable ways for for people to do this. It’s really exciting for us.
Damon Pistulka 28:05
Yeah. Well, I just I just think think back to the multitudes I started similar to you guys. Not professionally I started coaching baseball when I was 18 or 19. And I coached up until my son quit playing a few years ago and the parent interactions is where I’m focusing on now is there are so many parents that a we don’t know what to do and we me either and then we we that that whole interaction around the game during the games you know in in in practice this whole kind of thing that the stuff that you guys can create is gotta be
you get it’s got to really make you feel good because it’s just not knowing is the biggest thing for a lot of parents I mean like I said we there’s no handbook out here and when it comes to your your children doing something like whatever it is chess or sports or air or band as you said or and those kinds of things. There are a lot of different things that you can help them with that imagine that are that are really going to be help them set their children up better.
Steve Galley 29:29
You know, Damon, you know what our challenges are? Well this is more my challenge is keeping Nate from from trying to deliver the 18,000 ideas in his head in one podcast. Yeah. We have time we’re gonna do we’re gonna do dozens. We’re gonna do lots of these. Yeah, yeah.
Damon Pistulka 30:00
and breaking it down into the small pieces is a really big thing. And then allowing people the the opportunity, the methods to be able to do it digested slowly and more than wants to keep doing it. Because, yeah, I just think, what, and I can see it in your guy’s inner voices in your faces, when you look at the excitement around this. And especially as you were talking to Steve, it’s creating this next generation of kids that are, that are better equipped. Because it just it, it makes a difference in their lives.
Steve Galley 30:34
I think there’s just an assumption out there, that because you’re a parent, you know, you know what to do. And I think we were, we have a little we have a little line that we use in our podcast, and we haven’t mentioned that yet. And we really, we truly believe this, parenting is the hardest job and there’s not a close second.
Yeah, we really believe that. And so if a parent can open their mind, and, and be willing to listen and try a different approach, we we feel like these the skills, techniques, the discipline that we’ll share, we, we, we know they work, because we’ve seen them work. And Nate especially has used them in his in his one on one practice with teens.
And if people can just break through some of that old mindset, limiting belief that this is the this is the way you do it. And I’m the dad, you’re the kids. So just listen to me. I mean, he could tell you about the Middle School, the junior high to high school transition. And when when they get to high school, that that just isn’t that just doesn’t work very well anymore. I would imagine, I was tempted going there to see if he was going to if he was going to talk about that
Nate Crandall 32:12
he tells me I go crazy with it. I like turn it into a PhD doctoral course. And so I’m on a short leash.
Damon Pistulka 32:20
But it’s but it’s it’s, you know, you guys are creating this content that’s going to help parents, you know, look at the way they’re parenting their high performers. And and really help them be a more productive part of it, which I think is because man, I ask this question, how many times have you seen high performers, talented kids in whatever again, go off the deep end the wrong way. Because Because a they didn’t know how to deal with it, their parents didn’t or we’re dealing with it right or, or those kinds of things.
Nate Crandall 32:54
It happens too much. And it’s it’s a response to the pressure, the pressure hurts, it causes pain. And the most convenient way to do it is to numb it. And for kids that with social media, and with all the availability of all these things, that numbing is usually not done in a productive way.
Damon Pistulka 33:14
Yeah, yep. Yep. Yeah. No, you think about it, and you wonder, and you hope that what you’re doing will allow a few of those, to those kids, those parents, first of all, to understand how they can help their kids better, that will allow those kids at least to make a productive choice that says, maybe I’m not going to be the next, you know, baseball Pro or, or writing champion, whatever it is, but I got other things I’m going to do that are going to be productive and fun.
Nate Crandall 33:50
Well, in the real fun part of it is, is if the parents get it, right, they actually turn the ownership of that, that athletic journey, or the performers journey to the performer themselves. And so now the athlete becomes the deciding factor. And if the athlete says, I want to be the best, I want to do that.
And it’s their decision. And now the parent becomes somebody that equips them and encourages them and empowers them on that, on that journey. That’s fun. Yeah. And who knows how good they can be if they if they make the conscious choice to own their own journey. Instead of thinking, Oh, I’m just doing this because my dad wants or my mom wants me to when they own that that’s when their the ceiling just blows off. Yeah, who knows how good they could be?
Damon Pistulka 34:40
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I was lucky enough to see that with my son. He had three guys now off of the team you played with in high school that are in the MLB. Wow. And and you watch it and those parents did a pretty good job of that. Just let it mean the kids weren’t in it because the parents wanted to grab the parents loved it that their kids were in there.
And but it was at the end of the day when those those kids, if they can decide that you’re right, I’ve seen it. And it’s, it’s incredible to watch those kids because the kids are driving the game. They’re driving, they’re driving the car, they’re deciding what direction they’re going in. And then it really is up to them and how they can get developed their abilities. And that’s why
Nate Crandall 35:26
we call the coaching approach. That’s why it stopped parenting and start coaching because a good coach does that for their players. And coach puts their players out there with correct principles, and then let them go and create and make plays and do it. And the players just own it, and they play at higher levels. And we figured, why can’t parents do that with our kids? Yeah, take that same coaching approach where you’re just equipping and encouraging and empowering your kids. And then you step back and watch the fun. Watch what they create.
Steve Galley 35:58
Yeah, no Daman. I had a I can’t remember who told me this. But it was a it was a coach. And he said, more teams and players are destroyed at dinner tables and locker rooms than they ever are on on the court. And I don’t know how much truth there is to that. But things that parents say, and things that the players say to each other, in the locker room has a has a huge impact, we tend to focus only on what’s happening on the court. And there’s no question that coaches can build or destroy on court as well.
But if we can help, if we can help Dinner Table Talk to where it’s going to, as Nate said, we’re going to equip the kids, we’re going to empower the kids. And they can they can in turn do that with their teammates. Think about how many more, you know, happy players, meaningful experiences would take place. And I think kids would perform at higher levels to they would they would get closer to closing the gap on their potential. Yeah.
Damon Pistulka 37:14
One, two, and we haven’t talked about it much when you equip your children like this. They’re better equipped for life.
Steve Galley 37:25
Yes. And for sure, this I mean, this goes way beyond a great a great drill team performance or region trophy, or, in fact, this I mean, our our first course that we’re just finishing up really, really goes into that it’s called the scoreboard. And yeah, it’s, I’m not going to tell you anything more about it. But
Damon Pistulka 37:58
that’s awesome. That’s awesome. Because it does I mean, that’s it, that’s the thing is, is the, the techniques that you guys are talking about here, and applying them to high performing children in the parenting and helping the parents become more coaches. Calypsos shows children to to work through adversity themselves better, and, and find their way.
I mean, I, you know, from when you see this, when you see this and you look at it, I don’t care, you can go out and look at look at the most famous athletes that you see, or the, you know, someone that was a good athlete, they they seem to be able to figure out things in life, they saw problems they do, you know, it may not be the best solution, but they’ll find solutions, you know, and you look at some of these people that that have been able to do really some incredible things beyond the sports field. Is is I think a testament to them some of the lessons they learned on the on the fields.
Nate Crandall 39:09
Yeah, well, that’s that’s the real definition of confidence, isn’t it? Just believing that you will find a way to work things out? Yeah. And like if you have real confidence, you can get thrown in a weird situation. And you just know that, you know, even though craps going on and this is this is all weird. I can find a way to work this out. Yeah. And the performance arena is a perfect place to develop that confidence. And then it’s over from there. And as parents and as coaches. That should be our end game is to equip these kids with that knowledge that you know what, no matter what happens, I can find a way to work this out.
Damon Pistulka 39:50
Yeah, that’s really good advice there. So you guys are your podcasts you’ve been working on your podcast, when when you’re going start releasing episodes on your podcast.
Nate Crandall 40:03
You know what, I were just having so much fun making them. We’re just sitting on a bank of them.
Steve Galley 40:09
We are. Well, I will I will tell you we’re in. We’re in it for the long game. Yeah. So I mean, we’re gonna do this because we like it. Even if we also liked it, we don’t even care. We just We love what we’re doing. But we are we are planning on. We’re recording multiple, multiple episodes and stacking them so that we can release one per week without any stress or worry.
So right now we are we’re spending this fall. I don’t know if there’s a better word than stacking them. Yeah. And when so that when we do release them, and it may be the same time we release our our first our first course is we may be doing that at the same time. Very cool. One of our one of our blessings is that this is this is a big it’s a side hustle. It’s a big side hustle for us. But we actually have food to eat. So we Yeah, yeah. So we don’t
Damon Pistulka 41:25
we have a timeline you can do?
Steve Galley 41:28
Good. I don’t. Yeah. So that sometimes is a little bit of a curse, because and we have to coach ourselves on this is yes. Not waiting for it to be perfect. And we have this this time to. But I will say this every time we get faster at everything we’re doing. Well, yes. Yes. Whether it’s creating a course, podcasting. We’re getting, we’re getting better and faster at all of that stuff. But those things can’t keep up with our ideal list. Our ideal list is really long, Damon good.
Nate Crandall 42:06
Really, every time we record one episode, we end up with 10 to 20 more ideas for the other one. So it’s a blast. is asking, though is or would you like us to commit to a date?
Damon Pistulka 42:18
Well, it’s just I’m just curious. So people listening and they’re going, Oh, God, this really, this is really neat. I’d like to know when it’s going to start coming out,
Nate Crandall 42:26
we’re close. And I really think that that I still teach. So I still have the full time job. So I’m kind of the anchor holding us back when it comes to really kicking it up a notch on that. But I really think that by the time we get to the the end of the month, we can have stuff that’s available and ready. Yeah. Like we’re, we’ve done such a good job of advancing just little pieces, little pieces, little pieces, and it’s gonna let us really hit the ground running, which is what we wanted to do.
That’s why we’ve been, you know, playing the long game so far is we really want to make sure that when we put something out, we don’t just put out one episode and then nothing for a month, we want to put one out and then put a second one out. And then just so people know that each week we can tune in and get something good. That’s gonna make us think if somebody
Steve Galley 43:15
was really jazzed and wanted us to notify them, right now, they could just simply send us an email to create transform become I know it’s a long one. But we actually want you to type out those words because they’re three pretty awesome words. Yeah. So create transform become at Gmail. Okay, we’re if they wanted to do that we would definitely. Okay. I’m a personal cool. Invite to when we do start.
Damon Pistulka 43:45
Yeah, yeah. Because I think this is this is one of those things that when you start releasing episodes is going to be fun to, to see and, and help get the word out. Because I mean, this is, this is always going to help a lot of people and it’s, it’s going to be cool for them to see it. And I can understand how you’re how the process goes about till you watch it. Like you said, once you start going the podcasting gets easier, the writing becomes easier courses will become easier and and pretty soon you’ll be you’ll be going oh, we should probably make another 10 podcasts and it’s okay. Let’s take you know, Saturday afternoon and make them
Steve Galley 44:21
so well. We do Saturday morning. There you go.
Nate Crandall 44:26
I go and run 20 miles and then we go do that.
Damon Pistulka 44:28
Yeah. So there’s let’s back up to that a little bit. Because you guys are saying you’re talking about running a little bit. You guys are just like runners. You’re like runners now. So, Steve, you how many marathons Have you have you?
Steve Galley 44:44
It’s probably it’s probably 10 and probably probably not real. I mean, you talk to crazy runners like they’re they they do a lot more than that. I’ve done a lot of half marathons. Yeah. I did. I’ve done a lot of triathlons. I’ve done two Ironman. And I’m done with those. Yeah. Yeah, he’s running. And he’s he’s training for Boston. Yeah. And he’s running in the Chicago Marathon in 10 or 12 days. All
Nate Crandall 45:17
this? All right. I’ll be on the streets of Chicago and it’s gonna be a blast. How
Damon Pistulka 45:22
many marathons? marathons? Have you done so far?
Nate Crandall 45:26
This will be number seven. Nice. And so I’m 26 halves and seven, seven, full seven on Yeah, for Chicago.
Damon Pistulka 45:34
What’s the hardest part about run marathons guys?
Nate Crandall 45:38
finding the time to train? Yeah, it’s almost a full time job. Because you got to eat right? You’ve got to, and that doesn’t mean like diet. I mean, sometimes you got to eat more. Sometimes you got to eat less. You got to get plenty of sleep to make sure your body’s recovering. You got to do the strength training that goes along with it. And then you got runs of 1012 1416 2022 miles. And that takes time.
Steve Galley 46:07
Yeah, this guy, he’s a Superman. I mean, one on one coaching practice this this thing we’ve got going. Family. And then the whole thing and co teaching full time teaching gig and then the whole marathon train. Yeah. Yeah. Nice. Any smiles all the time?
Damon Pistulka 46:33
You know, you’re, you’re busy. You’re busy. It’s good stuff. Yeah, good stuff. So as you guys go forward, this if you look down and wrote a year, what do you what do you guys, where do you hope you’re at in a year with this?
Nate Crandall 46:50
Making a difference for 1000s of people. You know, people, people are able to easily pick up the stuff and whether they connect directly with us or not, they can watch one of our courses. And it’s going to make a difference in the way they parent their kids. And you know, if they really like what we’re talking about, and they’re following us and they want to do more, we’ve got the one on one coaching stuff that we do, where we really do a deep dive into not just the parenting but really maximizing your your joy and engagement and confidence in life.
Because that’s what we that’s what we’re after. So you know, a year down the road, I would love to see both of us just have a, you know, full set of clients that we’re working with one on one continuing to put out life changing podcasts and course content that felt parents and help teams to just be their best and get the most out of life.
Damon Pistulka 47:47
That’s just a mic drop moment, right there. It is. It is just this room. That’s done. It’s a wrap. Because I mean, it’s cool what you guys are doing. Aiming, I don’t know if I get so jacked up about it. Because I was you know, I was in it a long time I was the president and a baseball club with 150 200 kids in it for seven, eight years. I saw this on the field all the time.
I know how hard it is from being one of those parents, first of all, and seeing it as a coach for as many years as I did, and and how you guys are helping parents just get an idea of what we should do. And then that could help their kids because their kid, you know, like you said before, those parents love those kids more than they realize and want them to be their best more than they even realized. And you’re equipping them to be able to do that.
Steve Galley 48:42
And I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t say to Damon is we in both our approach to the podcast and our approach to our courses. We are we are focusing on practical, applicable information strategies. And we’re purposely keeping our podcast short. It’s going to be very short. And our courses are actually very short.
And we’re not going to try to shove a 328 page workbook and 17 module course when we could give a parent something that they could go use tonight with their son or daughter and they’re not overwhelmed by just all of this, this information just for the sake of you know, distributing information so we hope and we’ll we’ll find out as we get feedback will obviously are going to this will be a learning experience for us that we hope that people will be attracted to our our content, because it’s easy to understand and it’s quick. You can implement it quickly. Nice.
Nate Crandall 50:04
average commute times 26 minutes, our podcasts are going to be short enough that you could listen to the entire podcast on your trip to work. And then catch another episode on the way home.
Damon Pistulka 50:14
There you go. All right. Well, Nate, Steve, it’s been awesome. I was looking so forward to this and talking to you guys about this because, man, what you guys are doing there at create transform become and with your podcast, stop parenting and start coaching. I’m really excited to see see how you can help parents and high performers, just like you said, enjoy life better, and have more fun.
So thanks for being here today, guys. Thanks everyone else for listening. And you bet, guys, if people want to reach out just hang on for a minute after we’re done here, but if people want to reach out to you guys, it is curate transform. firstname.lastname@example.org. Correct. Very good. Well, look forward to what you guys are doing the future. And thanks, everyone for listening. We’ll be back again later this week with another episode of faces of business. Thanks, everyone. Thank you
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