44:05
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
coach, coaching, talk, people, work, authentic, audience, communication, tim, thought, imposter syndrome, business, leaders, amani, brain, executive, connect, pause, years, cool
SPEAKERS
Tim Fortescue, Damon Pistulka
Damon Pistulka 00:02
All right, everyone, welcome once again to the faces of business. I’m your host, Damon Pistulka. And I am so excited for our guests today, because we’re going to be talking about the power of being yourself and business with Tim for tissue from 40 Watt coaching. Tim, thanks so much for being here today.
Tim Fortescue 00:24
Thanks for having me. I’m excited to be here as well.
Damon Pistulka 00:27
Yeah, it’s, it’s gonna be awesome. Man, we are going going ahead of time here. And we, we I think we ran over him by a minute before we started a minute late because we started going and your story is so cool that we wanted to get just get started live here and share with the people. So Tim, we always like to start out learning a little bit more about the people and how they got into doing what they’re doing. So let’s start there. Let’s let’s talk about Tim and how he got into coaching.
Tim Fortescue 00:55
I knew from a pretty young age that I wanted to be a coach probably hit me somewhere in the around the time I was 19, or maybe 20. I was a college basketball player at a small school. And I started gravitating towards, you know, how can I help mentor? Or how can I teach others? This thing I know which at the time was a sport. And when I got out of school, I you know, we all think I’ve heard some of your other guests talk about like, what do I do with this major now? Well, all I was thinking about is how do I how do I? How can I coach for a living? And so my mind at the time went to Well, I could be a college basketball coach, like the people I see on TV they Yeah, they make more than a living you know, they make a lot of money in Coach K. Good. Yeah, Coach K, right. And I got into it. It was almost like being a Hollywood trying to be an aspiring actor in Hollywood or something where you’re like, oh, yeah, there’s a couple of people that do this really well and get paid a lot of money. But then there’s like a lot, a lot of people who are waiting tables and like trying to make the dream happen, but it’s just not happening. And I sort of fell into that camp where I, I couldn’t have tried to get some doors to open up to do sports coaching professionally. And it just for whatever reason wasn’t materializing. So the path I took was I coached high school basketball. There’s a varsity coach for several years. Absolutely loved it. But the problem was, I had a day job. And then I had this. And so I was gone all day. And when it came time for to get married and start a family, I had to be real honest with myself and like, I can’t keep this up. Yeah. So eventually, I found four very, very fortunately, I found the world of executive coaching and communication coaching, which is what I do now. And we can we talk all about that. But about 10 years ago, I pivoted into this type of coaching. So in a way, I’m actually living the dream of getting to coach people for a living and do what I love.
Damon Pistulka 02:57
That’s really cool. That’s really cool. Because it’s it’s not exactly where you thought you’re going. But it’s somewhere where you want to go completely. Because stuff. So you did a little bit of medical sales in between in between, then what do you think that really helped you with? So you’re a better coach?
Tim Fortescue 03:16
Yeah, the medical sales was, as I called it earlier, my day job. I got hired by Eli Lilly in Indianapolis. And that was right out of school, I was really fortunate to get that that position. And I mean, that, that I did it for 10 years, as I was trying to find my way into coaching for a living. I would definitely have not described it that way to my bosses at the time. You know, I was dedicated to my work. Yeah, I did well at my work. But the you know, to answer your question, like what did it what does it taught me about being a coach a lot. I mean, I can empathize with people who have deadlines to meet, you know, which my clients do with pressure with the, that pressure of like having to collaborate with different teams that you work with. And not everybody’s priorities are on the same page. But you’ve got to figure out a way to come together as a team. There’s a lot there’s just a lot of crossover that goes into like the empathy I have for the clients I have now.
Damon Pistulka 04:14
Yeah, no doubt. So as you’re as you’re coaching today, and you’re out there, you’re talking with people and you know, you’ve you’ve coached with a lot of big names across a big name companies then then communications coach for them. And you said that you’ve coached on six different continents. Now, that’s not that you got just about all of them that if I’m counting right, so what are some of the the places that you never thought you would coach that you coached in around the globe?
Tim Fortescue 04:54
The first one that comes to mind is the just before the pandemic I coached for several days in Asia. And then Shanghai and China and I had a blast did and I was I was in a room doing communication coaching and English for bilingual audience, you know, but the primary language was not English, it was Mandarin. Yeah. I it was one of those moments where I was like pinch myself like this is actually happening. I came in, you know, trainer speaker to come in and do this in English. It was it was a huge learning, but also a lot of fun. And that was one of those things where I was like, wow, I never would have thought when I was a high school basketball coach a few years ago, I never thought I’d be in this spot.
Damon Pistulka 05:38
Yeah, yeah, that’s super cool. And you don’t think about it. But that’s, that’s probably even for people that are doing business in the US or business with US companies. It is very important for them to understand the communication, the way we communicate, and for them to be to be able to do it effectively. That’s for sure. What did you What did you learn about that? I gotta think that that’s, I mean, I’ve done a little bit of business in China, and the middle and the East. And it’s the traditions and the customs. And there’s so much difference there. What were some of the things that you really learned that you thought, Oh, this is cool, but I would have never learned it if I hadn’t been here. This might
Tim Fortescue 06:21
be kind of nuanced. But I this the thing that the honest answer is I there’s this, there’s this etiquette about how you facilitate a workshop. And I was there to facilitate lots of workshops, lots of different things at different companies in different parts of Beijing and Shanghai. And one of the things we do in the United States in a workshop is you do the Socratic method, like the way you teach a class, you ask a question, and you get some input back from the audience, but you try not to single people out, try not to be the like a teacher who cold calls on a student who isn’t ready for it, and want to put people on the spot and in a negative way. So you do a lot of open ended questions to the room? Well, that’s not the way things worked, at least in my experience in China, in China, when I’d asked the open questions, I wouldn’t get anything back. And so some of my colleagues who were there on my team that were that lived in China, politely came over to me during a break and said that, you know, they’re not going to respond to you unless you call directly on them. Oh, interesting. This is counter to everything I’ve done in the US. So let me try this. Since I came back from the break. And I instead of opening it up to the group, I would just go directly at somebody and say not in like a mean way. But I’d be like, What do you think, are? Well, how would you respond to this? Or what? What did you have in mind, like started naming people as I went, and it was amazing. Everybody was ready to go, everybody had a thoughtful response. And we shifted the way I thought I was supposed to conduct myself in a workshop.
Damon Pistulka 07:56
That is, it’s a lot different into that, that really, you have to be as an audience member. You can’t be sitting there half dose and listening to somebody speak because you could call on anyone.
Tim Fortescue 08:10
It made me think almost about maybe the way the school systems work differently in China and the US but every I thought about that, too. I was like, I really don’t want to embarrass anyone. That’s why I typically don’t just cold call on people. But I was really pleasantly impressed, surprised. Like, everything that never happened once everybody was ready, and had an answer ready to go. And I didn’t catch anybody dozing. Yeah, that’s awesome.
Damon Pistulka 08:35
Well, we’ve got a few people. I apologize. I didn’t catch these comments earlier, but I’ve got Amani, we’ve got here we got Merlin Clark. Thanks for showing up today. We got Paul. He’s in here today. All right, we got that going on. And then we he’s falling and said, is that target Arctica? The missing? Link? I believe that will be the one. Yeah. If you are there, that would even be cooler. But you want to get in and get out. I think at certain times of the year. They’re
Tim Fortescue 09:10
on the bucket list.
Damon Pistulka 09:11
Yeah. Yeah, that would be a good one. I actually actually did a little digression. We had a lady on on one of our live stream shows. Allison, I think her name is I can’t remember it right now. But she actually is one of the people that walked to both polls. Okay. Who the heck climbed like the seventh highest peaks and walked out something like that. Super, super cool, cool lady, though. But it’s thinking of that. So as you’re as you’re doing this around, around the US, you’re around the globe, you’re helping people. You’re talking with a lot of executives, you’re trying to help them as as you say, you know, be authentic, clear communication. What are Some of the things that you see these people commonly stumbling with in their communication?
Tim Fortescue 10:08
Sure. There are two main themes. And it’s not specific to executives, I think it’s people at different seniority levels. But definitely executive, this is true as well, there are two themes, and one is how we see ourselves. And the other is the structure that we use to communicate different ideas. So break both of those down a bit. The first, which is how we see ourselves. Here’s an example I just saw earlier today in coaching someone who’s a vice president at a successful organization, on communication. And the scenario is, this person had built themselves up to sound a certain way to project credibility over the years. And it turns out that that way the person had built themselves up was not their authentic voice. So they sound one way when they’re talking to friends, family, people that have worked for a number of years with that person. But then when it’s time to get up and share ideas in front of a different type of audience, this other voice came out. And that’s a problem. Because one of the key ways to connect with audiences is sound like yourself, be authentic. And then the walls kind of come down subconsciously, in the audience. So many other good things happen to like your delivery is better, your body language is different. You’re just you connect better in so many different ways by just being your authentic self or using your authentic voice. So that’s a big one. And then on the other side, where an error I see are not an error, just like a blind spot, let’s call it is, structurally, people tend to speak to the left brain or their audience at work. Now, here’s what I mean by this. There. Obviously, there’s a left and a right brain way to communicate and the left brain to simplify it is that’s the part with the details. The strategy, the logic, the right brain is the story, the metaphor, the calls to action, it’s the part of the audience’s brain that is looking for something to connect to something to visualize something to feel, even if I were to ask you, or ask anybody really to tell me Well, what’s the what’s the main priority you have for the rest of the year and your work? I’m probably going to get a left brain answer. Now the blind spot is, you can do it both ways you can give the left brain answer and then follow it up with the right brain answer and putting those two together. Now we’ve got the best of both worlds, we’ve got the details. But we’ve also given the audience something when it by the way, when I say audience, it could just be the team or colleagues, we’ve given them something else to visualize or connect with.
Damon Pistulka 12:57
That is I’m writing notes like crazy because that is that is gold right there. You have in the details. And then giving them something that right brain something that they can feel and connect with and really get in business is so important to have people become a part of what they’re doing that if we get too stuck and left, right. And I’ve totally, I when you’re talking I’m like, Yeah, that’s me. You know, I grew up an engineer and and really, it took me a long, long time to start, you know, let the feeling come through and the way you talk. But what you’re saying, it makes so much sense. Because it helps people connect with them as leaders helps them connect as we’re going to work together. There’s so many different things that that that pulls together. So as you’re doing this, I’ve got to imagine you really have some good instances of people getting aha moments and things drastically changing for them. What are some of those things that you see after you’ve worked with someone for a while that really begins to happen with them both professionally and personally.
Tim Fortescue 14:10
There’s a overall there’s a comfort that happens, which is probably my favorite part of what I do like a comfort and someone realizing that they don’t have to be something else to be effective. As a communicator, they actually need to do the opposite. Just be more comfortable with who you are. And as I see that facade meltaway Are the realization that I don’t even need to do this. I’m at a point in my career. I’ve done this long enough I can be me, even for people who are in the earlier parts of their career. Still, they could do that too. You don’t have to get to a certain milestone in your career it is to start leaning into your own personal style and just being that so seeing that that part melt away is is really gratifying for me. An example like here’s how it sounds MC playout is sometimes I work with people to get ready to, for a conference like to get ready to go on stage. And I heard you talk with kitty, if your guest a few episodes ago and talking about those big events that her company puts on. Sometimes I’m the coach who’s who’s preparing the speaker, or the main executives to go out on stage and like, do a great job on that in that environment. And so here’s the dynamic that that executive or that that keynote speaker is dealing with, they’ve got a talk track, they’ve got maybe a confidence monitor, they’ve got a script. And they got to figure out a way to take those words and connect it to this big audience in front of them a bunch of human beings, like how do you do that? While you’re reading? How do you do that it’s really difficult to be reading something, and also connecting in the way you’re delivering it. And so one of the biggest aha that some of my clients have is that actually adding in stories, meaning anecdotes, like here’s my talk track, but that’s kind of left brain let me add a story here, because I’ve got something that really brings this point to life. And it doesn’t even have to be told perfectly. It’s just you’ve given me the left brain, No, give me the right brain, the story in this case, are a metaphor. And it’s like this sense of fun comes over the person that I’m coaching. And if they’re having fun, chances are the people who are listening to them are starting to have some fun, too, and that I’m using the word fun a lot. But that’s a lot of fun for me, too.
Damon Pistulka 16:34
Oh, I bet I bet and, and one thing we had Amani said, you can on the receiving end, you can see right through it when people are not being authentic and using just too much your left brain. And Matt said that he’s still needs too much left brain too much left brain. And then we had Mark talking about the right brain being the emotional connection, which is That’s right. That is correct, which it’s it’s so interesting, because as I’m sitting here thinking, I’m like, yeah, these speakers at these big events. You know, you don’t think about that, behind that. And the preparation, that that it’s not just preparing what I’m going to say but how I’m going to say it, how I’m going to weave things together to be able to do this. Because if you’re a if you’re a fortune 100 executive and you’re doing a big presentation at a big important thing, you’re launching a new product, you’re talking to one of the divisions and you’ve got hundreds or 1000s of people in the room. That’s, that’s quite a pressure cooker.
Tim Fortescue 17:34
It is and there’s so many things that that person has to try to get right. And my job is to try to alleviate a lot of that to try to like, let’s just focus on how simple this actually is. It is you know what you want to convey? Let’s get the message in. But let’s do it in a way that lands. That’s true to you and do it in your authentic voice. So a lot of what I’m doing is trying to like depressurize, the situation that has inherently has a lot of pressure in it.
Damon Pistulka 18:04
Yep, yep. So what are some of the things that you talk about adding stories? What are some of the other things that you you see that commonly help people to depressurize this and bring more of themselves into a conversation?
Tim Fortescue 18:25
It really comes down to, can I stop and think about who my audience is? And if I’m doing that, what are the questions that are most important for me to answer for this audience. And I think the act of doing that takes some of the pressure away, because pressure oftentimes comes from I’ve got this document that I’ve wrote that or someone wrote for me that I’m trying to say just right. And if we shift it from that to wait a minute, who am I speaking to? And what is most important to that group of people? And what are the questions that might be most interesting for me to answer for this group of people? Okay, now, we’ve kind of done something simple, but we flipped it. And we’ve made it not about us, but about them. And even if we aren’t 100% sure what those questions would be that that audience wants. We’ve kind of depressurized it in a way by just serving them instead, if that makes sense, but our selves in a position of like serving the audience as opposed to thinking about delivering this monologue just right?
Damon Pistulka 19:34
No, it makes total sense because if you’re answering their if you’re truly thinking about them and answering their questions around the subject that you’re speaking to, or on or whatever it is, you they’re going to be way more engaged because they’re going to see you like oh yeah, that’s what I was thinking. Oh, yeah, that’s what I was thinking. And you might be able to get you can see their their minds starting to go In the direction where you’d want them to. So that’s really cool. That’s really cool. So what are some things that we don’t think about and communication that you talk with people a lot about?
Tim Fortescue 20:14
Some of them we’ve covered. I mean, really, the the ability to go to the left and right brain is a big one. Yeah, the authentic voice is a big one. Those are things that people almost never think about. But I think they’re two of the most critical things. The other things, as we were talking before the show started, the other things that would how to answer that question are things that you probably find on a Google search, they’re more than common things, but I mean, I’ll call out some of them anyway, because they play a really important role. They’re things like pausing after key points, instead of just speeding through. So if you’re, if you’re listening to this, or you’re watching the stream, just think about, alright, if I have an important message to deliver, and I’ve told the story, or I’ve set a line that is thought provoking in some way, if I take a breath, after I say that line, now the audience is going to do probably a little bit of processing it, visualizing it, and it’s going to sink in even more, it’s going to give it more impact. If instead, if I don’t pause, and I just keep going, and I kind of go speed right through that pause, what I’ve done is actually undercut that point, which could have been really powerful. So it’s build in some pauses, particularly around the key points. That’s one of the things I’d say. Another one is, you know, anyone looking up, how can I be a better communicator would get probably get some information about how do I reduce my filler words, and things like that, and I’ve got a different perspective on that than I used to, earlier in my career. Working for a larger firm, you know, our perspective was just never, there’s never a time to say, um, or Are any of the filler words, you got to cut them all out at all costs. Now, maybe in my old age, I’ve come to think of it differently. And that I think, now there’s some humanity to filler words, occasionally, we usually use them when we’re being authentic. And so I’m not saying hey, use them. That’s the best practice. But I’m saying self awareness is actually the key. If you’re using filler words, if you’re using five or 10, every minute, if someone was counting you. And sometimes I do that for my clients, cut it down to two or three in the minute. And that’s a good goal. But zero, cool if you can do it. But the more important thing is be comfortable in your own style. So it’s more of a self awareness and improvement rather than like, let’s get rid of these things and eliminate them forever. That’s the way I see it now.
Damon Pistulka 22:44
Yeah, I think that that’s a great point. Because a lot of people fill the space with those words, because they think they need to keep talking. And really, the pauses are normal. When we’re talking to people in a in a conversation, you and I were sitting having a beer someplace, there’s, there’s pauses, there just are. And it’s funny how that happens. When you look at it, you can really tell that we’re watching two people speak. If someone is using a lot of filler words, and someone is not it’s dramatic and the difference, the difference of the message.
Tim Fortescue 23:27
It is.
Damon Pistulka 23:32
Yeah, simple. Like you said, it’s a Google search thing, but it’s not easy to do.
Tim Fortescue 23:36
No, it’s not. And if people are asking themselves now okay, well, how do I do that? How do I eliminate them? There’s a couple of ways. There’s a couple relatively simple ways one would be record yourself speaking on your smartphone, just pick a topic and talk about it for 30 seconds to a minute, and then watch it back, which is not always fun. We usually don’t like hearing our voice or watching ourselves back. But what cow like just look and notice, like what am I? What am I saying? Um, am I saying, you know, am I saying a combination of a few different things that just get a baseline for Okay, where am I? And then once you’ve got that baseline, start to target the words that stood out the filler words that stood out more and do your best to try to replace it with a pause. Easier said than done, but it is doable. This. This does work if you’ve commit to it.
Damon Pistulka 24:28
IMANI said about nonverbal cues. They are a skill that’s for sure. That’s for sure. I never used to pay much attention to that. But now I find as you as I think about communication more, I really liked the look and see what the audience is doing. You know, I think maybe younger you’re a little more a little more nervous. Just want to get the get the effort like the left brain stuff, right? Yeah. Now when you’re trying to connect you really want to see people Letter they’re leaning in, or whatever they’re doing, and, and wanting more give being engaged in it. But the, the question I’ve got is how many people? Do you start out with a new video recorder? Or audio or whatever you do? And they go, Oh, my god, is that really how I sound?
Tim Fortescue 25:21
90% would say that 90 Most, I do that in front of large groups, you know, to, as part of like, a self awareness exercise, you know, give them some different prompts and have them record and that is almost always the first response. So I’m kind of a groan. That’s what I sound like, or do I really come off that way? And it’s just human nature. It’s like, we all tend to nitpick ourselves. And once we can put that aside, then then there’s a lot to see in the recording, to grow and grow from.
Damon Pistulka 25:56
Yeah. What do you like the most about doing this?
Tim Fortescue 26:02
It’s seeing somebody’s confidence improve, Nick is the thing I’m really driving at. Earlier in our conversation I told you about I wanted to be a coach, I thought it was gonna coach basketball, because that was just the thing I knew. And now that I know, communication, verbal written different forms of it. I think it’s the vehicle for me to get to something hopefully deeper within the people I work with, and that is reexamining or like seeing themselves in a different light. Helping somebody see like, I can do it. And I do have this in me. Or I could do this really well, like that is the that’s the most fulfilling part.
Damon Pistulka 26:44
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I can feel it from you. I can feel it from you that when you can get people as you you like to say leading with authentic authenticity, they get more comfortable just being themselves. They, it’s got to be powerful for them. Once they do.
Tim Fortescue 27:04
Yes, it’s powerful for them. It’s super powerful for me to see, it’s like reinforcing, you know, like, wow, I want to do that again, for more people, you know, help more and, and it’s also kind of like a lifelong journey to it’s not like it’s something you just get it and then it’s set. It’s there’s always these deeper layers of like, can I be more comfortable in situations that make me nervous? Or can I be more comfortable being me and calmly being me in situations where maybe my boss’s boss is in the room, or like the board is listening in to what I’m saying. And so it’s like, it’s a continual journey of doing more of this work.
Damon Pistulka 27:46
Super cool. Super cool, because you were just, you were just ticking off the things that I went through and had no coaching whatsoever. And I just remember the first time I had to go into those board meetings, and do the presentations and things that was totally left brain you knows I did horrible, probably, but
Tim Fortescue 28:05
no way. Not you.
Damon Pistulka 28:07
Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Yes, I was robot right. But it’s it’s this itis feel how in those situations, someone like yourself could have helped with that, to really get you across? Because I think that’s in business today. I’m I’m so excited about business today. Because I believe that the the gens ears are pushing us the millennials and Gen Zers are pushing into Gen Xers and myself to really be more authentic, be more about you know, yeah, we we’re not just business, we’re about community, we’re about the environment, we’re about social responsibility, this whole kind of things. And I think what you’re doing, as you’re helping a lot of leaders that were conditioned at the beginning, that we’re not that, to show them how to really lead in today’s environment and be be better, better connected with their people.
Tim Fortescue 29:08
That’s a really cool way to put it. And I’d never quite put it together from the generational lens. But when you say that, that makes me think back to 10 years ago, when I was still a basketball coach. I was coaching Gen, the beginning of the Gen Z generation is there, you know that some of those guys were coming through high school and play basketball and it it didn’t really dawn on me then but looking back it has that the credibility factor was so it’s so different for them, thinking of like, Did I have credibility as their coach versus what it was for me in the 90s with my coach, my coach, my basketball coach, when I was a student in the 90s was the guy who had been there since the 70s. And his style was old school drill sergeant, you know, he said it and you did it or you didn’t Play. And, you know, there’s still some of that to sports now. But there’s a lot more connection and conversation that I had with today’s player that my coach would have never had with me. And there’s also the, I found myself owning when I made mistakes, and even apologizing sometimes when I handled something wrong to my players, and I don’t think I ever saw. I’m not trying to critique my old coach, wherever he is now. But you know, that just wasn’t part of the toolset for leaders or coaches back in the day, you know, to like, own that, like, Hey, I looked at that the wrong way that’s on me. I did a lot of that with my players, just because it was authentic. And I was like, This is what I’m really feeling. So I’m going to tell you this. Not coincidentally, I feel like I’m doing I’m doing a lot of this as a parent to with my kids now. And I, I think, I think at least that that helps our connection.
Damon Pistulka 30:56
Yeah, yeah, I’m sure it does. I’m sure it does. I see that I’m really, I’m a longtime Seahawks fan here being in the Northwest. And I see that in Coach Carroll that Pete Carroll up here. I mean, yeah, you can coach is all have their, their goods and Bad’s but one of the things is he is very authentic with players. And he connects with those young players so well and gets such a high level of effort and, and commitment from them that other coaches can’t, because we’ll have players come that just basically are failing out of another program come to the Seahawks, and be able to play at a very high level, where they just literally couldn’t fit into other places. And you know, it’s got to be with that connection and how he’s communicating with them and really getting them to buy in to, to him, him them into him him into them. And that’s that leadership and business today. That whole connection is really what drives our next is, I believe, is driving our next level of superstar businesses. I mean, it’s yeah, you know, apples. gargantuan, right, and some of these other companies are gargantuan, what they don’t, they aren’t necessarily going to be at the top of the heap 50 years from now, if they’re not doing these things, right. Because the good ideas are coming from other places.
Tim Fortescue 32:21
I love the Pete Carroll reference. I live in San Francisco now. So they’re like the are tribal. But But don’t let anybody know that in your audience in San Francisco. But I’m a huge Pete Carroll fan. And I hope that I hope I would love to see him get out and speak more on the topics of leadership. He’s somebody that I’ve looked up to a lot, though and his approach.
Damon Pistulka 32:42
Yeah, well, and the whole development philosophy around the coaching there too, is really been something that when you talk about an authentic leader, you see him on the sideline, you see is his enthusiasm. 76 years old, he’s going after it, you see him when he communicates with a player, you know, bringing them in and close hugging them, you know, just the whole good and bad, it’s, it’s just that that’s, that’s a level of, of, I don’t even know what you’d call it, you know, they are connected at a different level in that organization. And that’s, that’s how you can do that. And when you can do that in business, you have develop people that will run through walls for you. And as they need to, and do things that that you 99% Of the companies can’t, just because they’re going to be smarter, they’re going to try just that little bit extra, and they’re going to collaborate better. It’s, it’s amazing when we can get that that authenticity and that connection among there are the people in our teams.
Tim Fortescue 33:48
That’s really well said, and when I became a manager after leaving basketball coaching, I, you know, I had that feeling of well, I’d never done this before, what do I do, I’ve never managed people at work. But actually, I’ve managed people for years as a coach parents and players and different systems within the program. And I just sort of leaned into what, what I knew from it, and it completely applied. It was, be yourself, be true to what your values are, make a connection with everybody on the team get to know them. And then I feel like when the connection stronger, it’s almost like equity in the bank. You know, if the the equity is positive between you and the individuals on the team, then when it’s time to give the critical feedback, it’s time to coach hard, which I think is probably what Coach Carroll would do. You’ve got money in the bank, you’ve got positive equity built up in trust, so that that negative feedback. People are more likely to take it and not be just purely defensive over it and grow from it.
Damon Pistulka 34:50
It is a huge point. And I think that by as you’re doing helping people be more authentic in business and if they can do Keep depositing in that that equity bank with the people they work with keep depositing, keep helping, you know, doing that when it is so key what you said, then when there’s time that we need to change what we’re doing, you’re not, we need to work on something that you’re doing is not working just quite right. There’s, you’re not just defensive at that point. It’s because we’ve got that connection built up. And now we can actually work through those challenges and go past them. way faster than then the defensive mechanisms would stop progress. Rather than at the point if the equity is in the bank, as you said, we can talk about it and start moving forward.
Tim Fortescue 35:42
That’s right. And so people are listening to this saying, well, where’s all the positive equity come from? I mean, that’s where you as a leader, your eyes have got to be look, you got to be looking for it. Like what are where can I catch my people doing it? Right? And small things, big things, and insignificant things that they would have never thought twice about, but stopping and taking the minute to send a quick message, or tell them in person, like, hey, that, you know, you made a comment in that meeting. And I don’t know if you even remember it, but it really changed the trajectory of our conversation in a good way. That’s it, you just put it out. It’s just a little deposit in the bank positive equity, and building up that trust.
Damon Pistulka 36:21
Yeah, yeah. So cool. Man, are you just excited every day when you get up and get to do this?
Tim Fortescue 36:29
I am generally excited every day. The reason I paused is because I pictured when I really wake up in the morning, it’s probably my five or three year old waking us up at 530 in the morning, and then my wife having to be like, it’s still the middle of the night. You got to go back to bed. But what once we get past that, I’m pretty I’m pretty excited. I’m pretty pumped up about what I
Damon Pistulka 36:50
get to do. Yeah, yeah. Well, that’s cool that you’re getting woken up by a five and three year old that that’s a that’s a good, that’s a good thing, man. That’s a good thing. You will look back on that. And you will go that. It did. We thought it stunk while it happened, but it wasn’t that bad.
Tim Fortescue 37:08
And then I’m probably gonna miss it, you know?
Damon Pistulka 37:10
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yep. Yep. So that’s, man, it’s so cool. Matt’s got another thing. So the best best performing organizations have five to one positive to negative statements. Yep.
Tim Fortescue 37:24
Love that.
Damon Pistulka 37:26
100%. Love that.
Tim Fortescue 37:28
I love that ratio. Five to one.
Damon Pistulka 37:30
Yeah. Yep. I had to do so much. Just, you know, I don’t know what you’d call it to myself for that. Because as, as managers, we get conditioned to find the problems, right? We get conditioned, conditioned to find the problems. So what are you talking about all day? The problems? Yeah, you got this five to one ratio is so important. But why the hell was it for however many decades, I’ve been teaching managers just just to find the problem? We got to we got to get past that because it doesn’t get you where it can when you’re, when you really are thinking about the positive? Yes, you have to understand there’s a problem. Yes, you have to do that. But you treating them differently is so key. So key, I agree.
Tim Fortescue 38:15
There are times where you go directly at the problem, you sit down with somebody or you communicate it directly, like here’s the problem, and that that’s the way to go. I’ve found through through coaching and various levels, sports coaching all the way to coaching an executive and trying to help them get better at delivering something in their message. I found that if I can catch them doing the thing, right? If there was an issue here and topic a you know, but But I wait, and I kind of pick my spot, and then I catch them doing topic a correctly, like stopping and jumping on that positively, I think at times can have more impact than if I were to tell them the negative, like don’t do, hey, don’t do this. But it means more if I say hey, that time you did this, that was great. Let’s do more of that.
Damon Pistulka 39:03
Mm hmm. Great point. That’s the way to do it as somebody to do it. And and as we as we as we learn more about ourselves and people I think it’s it’s so much fun to listen to yourself, talk about coaching and how you can help people do this because we are in a time where people like yourself, and executives can come together to really make huge difference in organizations.
Tim Fortescue 39:30
I agree. Yeah. So spending time when when I get to see a leader that I work with get more effective at doing the things we’re talking about. It just has this trickle down effect you know, it’s a it’s a multiplier, because there’s so many people that could have a positive day because that leader you know, had a positive interaction with them or communicated something in a way where gave the whole group some hope or some inspiration. And it’s pretty cool.
Damon Pistulka 39:58
Yeah, no doubt. Uh oh. So tell me, I just I, my mind is racing, I had to slow down here a moment. Because it’s so much fun talking with you. I mean, this is this is this is if there’s anything in business leaders can do. I mean, leaders aren’t aren’t born, right, they aren’t born we have to be developed leaders are developed. And, and I think communication is one of the foundational pieces of being a good leader. So as you’re winding down here, we’re getting towards the end of what we do today. What are some of the things, the positive feedback you get back from leaders as as they’re going, Wow, this is working, what are some of the things they’re telling you?
Tim Fortescue 40:47
The I mean, the ones that stand out the most are when I can tell directly or indirectly, that they feel better, they feel better about themselves, they feel better, like more confident, less imposter syndrome, more enabled to just be them in a good way, like, let the best parts of them come out and connect with more people more vulnerability, that kind of stuff. So it’s, sometimes I get those comments directly, like overtly, here’s, you know, here’s what made a difference. Sometimes it’s like, I look at the feedback or the note I got, and I’m like, wow, yeah, like that’s what’s underneath the hood of that is, is like, you’re more comfortable being you in a good way. And that’s having all these other downstream good effects.
Damon Pistulka 41:30
Yeah, definitely. And you said something in there that I was really thinking about that you said it too, is that imposter syndrome when we can, when we can be authentic and be who we are. That is all melt away? Because we’re who we are.
Tim Fortescue 41:47
It’s weird how that is. It’s like the opposite side of the coin, the imposter syndrome. It’s like that inclination with imposter syndrome as well. I’m gonna be more this way, this certain way, so that everybody will think I belong here. I’m the right person. Actually, no, it’s go the other way. It’s like, stop and think about what got you here, which is you, you know, you being you, you’re doing leaning into your strengths. And let’s do more of that. Which is crazy. But let’s lean into it.
Damon Pistulka 42:18
Yeah, no doubt. Well, Tim, it’s been awesome getting to talk to you today. I just, I appreciate you so much for coming on the show and talking about the power of being yourself and your, your, your suggestions, your coaching, if people want to reach out to you what’s the best way to get a hold of you?
Tim Fortescue 42:42
LinkedIn is probably the place where I’m most active and just find me my name is Tim Fortescue, last name is spelled fo r t s cu e can look me up on LinkedIn. There might be one or two Tim Florida skews in the world, but not that many. And then you can also find me on Instagram. There’s a at 40 Watt coaching on Instagram where I share a lot of content and some videos, some some just different, like blog post type stuff, different insights. Very cool. Very cool.
Damon Pistulka 43:12
Well, Tim, thanks so much for being here today. I want to also thank our guests that were there listeners that are out there, Amani Matt. Paul, we had Allen, I think was in the room for a minute. There’s several people. And thanks for being here today. Those of you that dropped comments, those of you that didn’t go back and rewind this because if you’re thinking about getting more authentic in your communication style, go back and listen, because Tim had a lot of good suggestions here. And then as Tim said, reach out to him on LinkedIn, it’s Tim Fortescue, fr TEs, cu e on LinkedIn and 40 want coaching and talk to him so he might be able to help. Thanks to him for being here today. And thanks everyone else, and we’ll be back again next week. Thanks, Damon.
