SUMMARY KEYWORDS
people, linkedin, helping, bookmarks, talk, thought, day, words, friends, business, realize, personal relationships, mental health, part, work, listening, hear, life, post, feel
SPEAKERS
Damon Pistulka, Andrew Cross, Paula Goodman
Damon Pistulka 00:02
All right, everyone. Thank you for joining us once again on the exit way round table with Andrew Knights today. We have Paul Goodman with us. Welcome, Paula. No, thank you for having me. Well, we’re just we’re just happy to have you because it’s gonna be a great to talk to you a little bit about you know, yourself your background and then about your incredible writing that you do. And, and go from there. So you you live in Canada. And that’s that like some other friends of ours like Ron kragen.
And my partner Andrew, they’re the the newly newly certified Canadian citizen have to look. Now, we were just talking about it, you live outside of Niagara falls on the north, a bit north and west of it from in Canada there. So that’s cool. Nice time a year.
There was a follow you were saying? So good. Good. Well, can you tell us a little bit, Paula, we’ll get to today because the people that have seen your stuff will talk about that for a while but care that let’s start back aways and kind of talk about what what really brought you here and some of your background and stuff that kind of kind of got you got you going in, you know, some of the things in life that kind of stuck out to in your head that
Paula Goodman 01:34
well, first of all, I was born that’s what brought me here. Um, wow, that’s, it’s been quite a journey. Everything I’ve ever done has brought me to where I am today. But as for being here on social media, um, it was somewhere where I just kind of evolved really, um, I was in a situation where life was pretty crappy. I didn’t want to be a part of it. I wanted to leave. I wanted to exit life. I was traveling with my own mental health issues depression, anxiety, PTSD, I was in an abusive relationship with a narcissist. My sense of value is gone. depleted, I had no hope. Really.
Yeah, so and I my work situation was I was because of my my issues at work. I was in a toxic environment had to another level and I took some time off. Yeah. Um, and then it was it came to a resolution and I decided the best thing for me would be to beat the situation. I can’t really get into the detail. Yeah. Um, dignity is something I have to hold on to. And that means respecting everybody involved, I took something great from everywhere. I’ve been in life, every experience as well. The part of me that brought me back to LinkedIn I had joined it ages ago is just like a resume CV showcase.
I thought, okay, it’s a career place. So throw my my stuff online and pretty much left it as something to update every now and then. Or everybody goes into a work situation. If you’re not 100% happy, you’re hoping somebody is going to discover you this way? Yeah, you’re like, if I put every accomplishment I’ve ever done here, maybe somebody might might see me. I don’t know. Yeah, but I think that’s the mentality back then. And things started to change when it was sold. And it has evolved to a social media platform.
Um, because I think more and more humanity shows up on social media in a way that we cannot fight it, it’s there, you know, be part of the workforce, you cannot separate life from work. There is a balance, but you can’t separate it, you can’t walk into your work and just leave everything outside the door. Whatever happens to before you walk into work, or join your workforce is going to affect how you how you perform that day.
Mm hmm. People at work who are in leadership in in management or any, any role, actually, if they have to feed each other, encourage each other. We all want to lead at work. But we also need to be led. And we have to be part of a team and you kind of support each other in that way. It’s like if you don’t know your people, how are you going? To make it work, yeah.
When you pay attention to the people, because everybody learns differently to if you want them to perform better, listen to them, get to know them learn how they learn, because training is an all one way. You know, some people need a visual, some people need to do it. I’m a visual, if I can’t do it myself, if I have to do it five times, I have to write it out and do it. But when a lot of the stuff is online, or by a computer, tell me how to do it. Do it with me, let me do the typing. Don’t just take my computer and do it for me. Anyway, I’m getting off topic.
Damon Pistulka 05:36
You talk a lot about and, and it. And I don’t know how to say it, I’ll say I’ll just go out and say it because I don’t use the right words. But it sucks that you had to go through what you had to go through in life, right. And it sucks that you had to get to those situations. But what I see and what I hear and you today is someone that those situations while they sucked when you went through them, it made you stronger, and probably even happier today because of it.
Paula Goodman 06:08
Exactly. I’ve learned I’ve learned a great deal. As part of not wanting to live, not feeling any value, you get into a desperate situation, people can’t tell you to just snap out of it. Yeah, you are in depression, you are wearing a heavy cloak, you are drowning every single day, it’s an effort to get up to see what you contribute to the planet, when you’ve been in circumstances where you’ve been made to think in, in abuse that you don’t matter. You don’t nobody cares what you have to say, you are brainwashed you lose it.
And when when you spare on the type of person, I know there’s help there, I collected as much help as I can. I did my therapy, I went to see people, but nothing was happening. You still feel desperate and think it’s not working. It’s not working. But the thing that you have to do is you have to keep going. I’m very disciplined in that sense. And then one day, it just kind of it clicks, you have to keep doing it. If what you do over and over becomes a lifestyle. Little things that you do you can’t you have to be consistent at it and and just keep at it.
And one thing for me I mean, when it comes to not having a sense of hope to have that one thing to hold on to is probably what we’ll see you don’t have some once you lose all sense of hope, my theory you. Your mind goes first, your mental health is most important. If you lose your mind, your body will follow. Yes. It’s not a choice. You don’t want to leave, you don’t want to die.
So you keep going you keep getting up, but you don’t know why. Until it makes sense one day, and in my desperation for me, it was just that one day where you know, I kind of looked at that. I looked at something an image of God that I have here, and I just looked at them. And I said, You know, I haven’t really talked to you in a while.
But I have something to say. And I kind of just started crying and I said you know what? You gave me the sleep. I’m giving it back. It’s I’m not doing it right. And you I know give us free will. I’m not doing it well. And I pretty much told him I said you can have a back. I’m giving it all back to you. Yeah, even you, I have faith in you. I don’t know where I’m going. But this life is back on you. That day on it was like an epiphany and I’m just like I started feeling better. I started thinking more of my children who were my my probably the thread of hope that kept me going.
Yeah, I mean, I had that there is something I mean, you you do matter. You don’t know how you are contributing in this world. But you do make a difference. That I can say, you just have to hold on. You have to hold on. There is something you’re meant to be here we all are. Some of us. We figure it out. Somebody might tell you how much you’ve made a difference to them. Some people die and have no clue that they’ve made a difference to somebody. Yeah, greatest gift to be told that you have, huh?
But anyway, yeah. So from then on, it was just kind of like, wow, slowly, slowly that that was over a year and a half ago. And wow, the strength just started coming back. I mean, I got up off the floor and dusted myself off and I’m like okay, let’s do this. Yeah. When you gift to God, He gives you back. And it’s almost like he’s standing there. And young people like to blame God like, no, that’s the free will. He gives it to you. And then he scans there and waits for you to invite him back. So anyway, that’s, that’s where I was. And I went back to I was wondering what the heck I’m going to do, I decided to leave the corporate role resolved that there was a harassment issue.
Andrew Cross 10:26
So
Damon Pistulka 10:28
done with that.
Paula Goodman 10:29
Done with that, done with this, I mean, everything that you could think about having the marriage break down, everything was all at once. I mean, I was getting hard with a lot of triggers old ones. Yeah, no wonder is like, beaten on the forum. Like, Come on, give me some more
Andrew Cross 10:43
interesting. Like, now, for what I’m hearing, you’re talking about to how you’re building, you know, on things positively. point right. Little by little, you know, recognizing, you know, you know, I guess it’s, it’s, it’s the fortunate part of our human condition that you have to kind of go through the worst in order to recognize what’s good. You know,
Paula Goodman 11:08
you do you really learn from the hardest things you really don’t think your light and like, I mean, I thought my life was a curse and like, Can it get any worse? any better? Like, you’re just stuck, you know, stuck, and you have no idea what to do. I was watching LinkedIn, I was one of the people that was just watching, coasting around a few comments here and there. I was just watching it. And I thought maybe I’m gonna need another career here. After this epiphany, I’m like, what, what can I do?
And I’m reading as I’m reading along on LinkedIn, I saw more than just the career aspirations part of it. I thought, there’s a lot of people as heartbroken as I am here. Mm hmm. Yeah. For a lot of people in desperate situations. It’s not all that bad. You have to trust the process. It takes time. If you read about somebody else, and you’re open about it, you know, you feel comfort, because I was getting comfort from other people being open about them. And I’m like, wow, I’m not alone here. You know? Yeah. Um, I used LinkedIn for resources. I took online courses and free webinars, there was so much that was filling the void of my depressed time. So
Damon Pistulka 12:31
yeah, it was
Paula Goodman 12:33
just incredible. And when I when I saw on LinkedIn that this was happening, and I started thinking, like, what can I do? There’s something here for me, why am I compelled to be coming on line all the time? Yeah. And it was almost like I, I thought of the writing. And then there’s this voice in my head going, you can help people. Yeah, true. Some shit. Excuse my language.
Damon Pistulka 12:57
Yeah.
Paula Goodman 12:59
But it was like, God telling me, you know what? You can go on here. And you can help. Yeah. And that’s all I wanted to do was help people.
Andrew Cross 13:10
Yeah.
Paula Goodman 13:11
You know, and just encourage them, it might mean was the human heart because like, we’re all in this together. Yeah. desperate. You are? Yeah.
Andrew Cross 13:22
Back, you were talking you were you kind of went into it a little bit about, you know, you’re at work all the time. And, you know, I talked a little bit more about you can’t, I want to see if we can talk about that a little bit more. Because, you know, we’ve had a lot of conversations about that. And everybody’s thinking a lot more about mental health, mental health, and just, you know, what, you know, performance and, you know, we’re going through workplace right now and really scrutinizing you know, what, that’s all as they get a alonza Bear, you know, is talked a lot about that, and he isn’t, he’s been doing this long before COVID.
But challenging the fact that, you know, you can’t have personal relationships at work, and that whole concept of that, and, you know, what the workplace is, right? You know, it’s got this kind of facade or wall around you. And so maybe we could go into that a little bit. You started I think about that, and curious to hear more. Well, what’s your experience is that,
Paula Goodman 14:17
um, as in as in your personal life and work life?
Andrew Cross 14:21
I think so. Are you know, it’s the idea that, you know, you can’t have friends at work, or you can’t make relationships I’m not, you know, at a certain level, they notice, especially when they’re, it’s hierarchal, you know, and you’ve got, you know, you know, in the workplace relationships and stuff like that, too. So, you know, it’s, we were talking about it more in in some of our discussions are going around in the best business relationships, our personal relationships, where you, you know, you do things with people you care about a part of, it’s part of the culture and the community, right,
Paula Goodman 14:54
right. And then mentality going into any working place, anything job I’ve ever had I hold with pride, first of all, and this is what I do. It’s a role that I have, I’m going to do the best that I can do. You got to go in with that badge of honor and do the best that you can do. You don’t go looking for friends at work. It’s not something you do. But if you get a friend, it’s a bonus. Yeah, it’s like getting that bonus at work. We don’t go into work, but we don’t get to pick the family we’re born into. Mm hmm. You know, and they say don’t work with family. Right.
Andrew Cross 15:35
That’s a topic.
15:40
Yeah, I
Paula Goodman 15:42
think some of my some I’ve made some really good friends over the years. And, unfortunately, over the years to I’ve seen this gradual. I don’t know the gist. inclination is that to just discredit any kind of friendship. Yeah. And that, to me was kind of tough. It’s like, well, how am I supposed if I ask somebody a question like, how, how’s it going? Um, it’s up to them. I would leave the questions open minded because I had, you had to be more aware of how you were asking questions of your employees type thing? Because, wow, you can be slapped with harassment within seconds. Yeah. And it made it harder for you to actually value one another.
Everything was kind of like this invisible wall, up my friend, or my boss, or something like that. And that’s, that’s where the leaders need to say, you know, what? No, no, I’m not doing that this wall doesn’t exist. For me. I care about you as a person. Sometimes you can help somebody figure out maybe this job, this role isn’t for you? Or maybe you belong somewhere else. If I don’t get to know you fully. How am I supposed to help you? I need help me help you. Mm hmm. Right. Yeah.
If you can’t take the humanity out of business, it’s humanity before business. Yeah. If you don’t have a happy workforce, or try to get along at work and understand the human capacity, to be social, yeah. And have that dignity. How are you impressing your workplace because when people aren’t happy, they’re less productive. We know what studies are out there too. And happy people make a happier workplace, when they feel a value, you get better out of them, they want to help more, they want to please you, that teacher you want to just like please your teacher, and get that sense of pride back because it feeds back and forth?
Andrew Cross 17:51
Hmm. Well, you know, and that’s it. Right? You know, um, it sometimes you know, where that where you’re, it depends on which side you’re on, of course, but you know, your employees wear their headset? And do you care enough to ask, you know, it’s sometimes it has been one thing you care enough to ask? Because I’ll tell you what that is. That is where it has to start with somebody is, is if you’re if you’re in working with somebody every single day,
Damon Pistulka 18:19
you know, if they’re suffering from something or not, I mean, you can sense it. And, and, and, yeah, when, when Andrew and I, and you probably grew up in, I’m assuming we’re older than you. That’s what I’m saying. So, when, you know, when we were working, it was it was it was like, you know, that’s not a line that you cross there you are taught that’s not a line that you cross, and especially if you’re if you were, you know, one of the people that were at the highest level in the company’s net it was God no, don’t ever go there.
Andrew Cross 18:53
Well, their lines gone on the other side, too. Don’t bring your stuff to work.
Damon Pistulka 18:56
Yeah, don’t bring your stuff to work.
Andrew Cross 18:58
Yeah, good point. There’s so work you know, there’s all these kind of hidden kind of things, right? Yeah. When you bring your stuff to work or not. It still affects that affects work. It affects everything, you know, yeah, sure, within the organization and
Paula Goodman 19:13
baggage, no matter what, you somebody and it’s not always bad behind work to some people come in with the greatest moods and, you know, you see people who are feeling sad, you don’t know if they’re going through a divorce or how to fight the next day or if somebody’s celebrating a birthday, how do you merge all these characters into one
Andrew Cross 19:31
word, you won the lottery, if I quit.
Paula Goodman 19:37
Player they didn’t pitch into the lottery, you know.
Damon Pistulka 19:47
But the you know, the thing that I think you know, if we have to look back and like it, like anything in your life experiences COVID is teaching us a lot. Because we’re having to get we’re having to communicate and work with people in an environment like this. We can see into our home where we can see that there’s kids running around behind. We’re trying to homeschool kids at the same time. And that’s, I think that’s helping. I think that’s helping us bring humanity into business. And I really think that that’s, if there’s anything that I’m glad about it, that’s what I see. That really I think is positive. Is it possible?
Paula Goodman 20:23
I totally agree. It’s, it’s pretty impressive, because I always knew that, you know, like, you have to merge the two. Yeah, certain flair. Um, our Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, his father used to be prime minister to Pierre Elliot Trudeau. Yeah, comment about state has no place in the bedroom. And it seems to afflict right now, because of COVID that we are now doing zoom in the bedroom. So
Damon Pistulka 20:55
that’s true. That’s it. That’s the office for a lot of people
Paula Goodman 20:57
Exactly. And if you think about it, too, like you
Andrew Cross 21:00
can do this.
Paula Goodman 21:06
And it’s funny because people are so unprepared. When they when this all started, like, you still don’t know who’s gonna walk behind you. You see all the, the, the where do they call when those those mishaps when they happen? Or he doesn’t realize the cameras still on bloopers? I guess. That’s it. So anyway, like this happens, and yet the work has no right to criticize it if they haven’t helped you through it.
Andrew Cross 21:32
Well, what I’ve noticed is, you know, in a couple instances, too, and someone’s granddaughter came in, and they’re they’re babysitting and you know what, it brought another level? Nobody, you know, nobody’s going up getting uptight about that, because the meeting was interrupted, everybody felt Wow, that’s really cool. You know, I mean, I recognized genuine kind of a positive reaction. And no one was in a hurry, you know, and it’s just kind of cool to see that the people you’re working with, you know, just like us.
Paula Goodman 22:02
It is and, and it really gives you a little glimpse into who they are. We’re all relaxed in our own home. Right? are true. Whether you’re wearing pants or not, I have to say I know Ron’s watching.
Andrew Cross 22:23
Busted.
Damon Pistulka 22:26
Gotta go.
Paula Goodman 22:28
It’s just hilarious. Like, I mean,
Damon Pistulka 22:32
although I do have to say that just to be be truthful, there. I have worn sweats. Now, I think for about, you know, eight months. While on meetings. I think I’ve had
Paula Goodman 22:45
yoga pants ready to go see so dressed up in so long. I don’t miss it. If I was to put any heels on or anything, I wouldn’t hurt.
Andrew Cross 22:59
I saw that you’re in. I’m in a yoga too. And I miss my yoga, though. So what I’ve been, we’ve set up kind of a thing here, but we do it online. But it’s tough not being able to go to the studio.
Paula Goodman 23:13
Yeah, but sometimes if you just find the right voice, you should be able to do yoga with your eyes closed. Well, I do.
Andrew Cross 23:23
I do flow yoga. So I like the heat. You know. So yeah, it’s hard to replicate that here.
Paula Goodman 23:28
I do like the heat too. But there there is something about the heat, too, that when you’re dealing with your shock, where as you’re generating your own feet, if you’re if you’re working out in heat, you’re clashing. Hmm, because your heat is going to clash with the heat on the outside and the energy is just thrown out. out there. But anyway, that’s,
Andrew Cross 23:50
that’s my, I have biomechanical reasons because little joints need the car
Paula Goodman 23:55
like the heat. I like I like sweat because that makes them that that’s lubrication for your joints and
Andrew Cross 24:03
things moving. Yeah, exactly.
Paula Goodman 24:05
The flexibility is all up in your mind if you can, always and if somebody can describe to you where to set your body. Yeah, you are. You’re with great instruction. So it really depends on who you’re listening.
Andrew Cross 24:19
It gets better but when the least flexible person I think I know. It’s
Paula Goodman 24:25
memory. Remember, you guys have said this before to focus on where you want to be. You have to think the perfect pose. There is no perfect pose, mind you, because there’s always exploration. Mm hmm. Final Destination. Yeah. But if you think of where you want your body to be, your body may begin some other like if you were to look in the mirror, it’s not where you think it is.
But as long as you’re thinking it and explore it in your body. It’s like the Star Trek Enterprise. I think you’re off in another world. Think about that. There’s two one over 200 phones there’s all this blood their cell. You can Focus on that on your pinky finger, your thumb your toe. Mine is where you focus and send the breath with the proper breathing. You’re doing that internal massaging of your organs and sending fresh oxygen. So get rid of the bad breath. Always, always exhale, breath longer than you do inhale.
Andrew Cross 25:19
Mm hmm. Yeah. Well, that’s great. Good stuff.
Damon Pistulka 25:23
I have to remember that.
Andrew Cross 25:27
I’ve been trying to convince them to give it a try. But
Paula Goodman 25:30
any kind of your as long as you’re doing something, it’s movement and movement as in person.
Damon Pistulka 25:36
Yeah. Yeah. That’s right. No, we’re gonna stop living. So yeah, exactly. And the thing is, is like that, that’s the, that’s the other thing that’s been kind of interesting about COVID is to see how some people have reacted to COVID. And, and, you know, you see some, unfortunately, the the couch and junk food got to them. And then you see some people that really took it in and, you know, like yoga is something that you could really get pretty darn good at it in your home by watching videos, or given somebody on video like, like Andrew does with that.
And it’s, it’s interesting to see that how that how it’s affected people differently. But I really think that if you take the time to be positive, or do positive things while you’re stuck like this, you know, we’re semi quarantine, it makes it so much better. I mean, your brain just is because you go back again to the health and you figure out okay, what what’s good today? Well, at least I’m going to get some exercise. I’m going to get it. I’m going to get used one thing today.
Paula Goodman 26:42
You know, my dad took my mat outside, I would go out the backyard. Put it down and just do it there. The sun. The clouds. First girls, everything just being part of nature. Oh my god.
Andrew Cross 26:55
There you go. Joe. Joe. Joe is
Damon Pistulka 27:01
good. Oh, look at rod lots. 20 pounds since COVID. Started. Wow. Oh, that’s good. That’s impressive.
Andrew Cross 27:19
Well done. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it’s different for different people get, there’s more time, you know, without having to get in the car and do that kind of stuff. And, you know, walking more dry, get some yoga and a little exercise. You know, and that’s, yeah, it’s part of it. If you don’t bring it. Yeah, you’re this anyway. So
Paula Goodman 27:43
there are a lot of like, it’s been, it’s been a hell of a year. Yeah. It’s not over. It’s not. We’re in for 2020. We learned a lot. A lot of people have left, and a lot of people are still here. Yeah. I’m realizing what really matters, I think has been something that has been enlightening to everyone. I think with the COVID. The awareness for mental health, mental. If you think about it without that there’s nothing.
Damon Pistulka 28:18
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Cross 28:19
I I do you think I think that people are having, you know, a new newfound kind of respect for mental health and understanding how do you get that sense? Do you feel?
Paula Goodman 28:32
I think so. In that, I’d like to think so. There was too much of a stigma before. Yeah. Um, but I and again, I think what people didn’t realize everybody is susceptible to mental health. We all have a trigger. Um, and this year, a lot of triggers went on. Yeah, I feel bad for the mental health industry. There’s not enough services available. They’re the ones that need more help to,
Andrew Cross 29:05
then you’re in Canada.
Paula Goodman 29:08
I mean, a little there than here. Well, yeah. But also, it’s expensive. Yeah, it is. $200 an hour to talk to a psychologist. Yeah. It’s great. You know, and really, all people need is someone to talk to you. That human connection. And I think that’s why people turn to online because they’re desperate. There’s groups everywhere. Yeah. When I was dealing with narcissism, I found a Facebook group that helped me through everything and just made it clearer. And then one day, it was like, I didn’t need to go there anymore.
Yeah, I learned a hell of a lot. I didn’t know much about narcissism before and the effects it could have on somebody. That alone I think, is a contributor to suicide. Your views, you just want to end it. I’m gonna face it. But that along to that’s that’s becoming more people are becoming more aware of narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder.
Damon Pistulka 30:10
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Cross 30:16
Yeah, we’re not gonna talk about that guy.
Damon Pistulka 30:19
Joseph. Listen, we got hit with so many things at once. When you look at it some people got hit with job loss, then you’re at home, you can’t go anywhere. And then you’ve got your your kids are at home with you too. If you’ve got children and you’re what do you do? At that point there? There are some serious serious that that
Paula Goodman 30:50
teachers role to not only that, I mean, they’re already stressed about you know, rushing everywhere that Okay, that was taken off the table, but now you’re trying to do your work and keep it quiet in another room cue? Impossible. Really? When you got small little ones around? Yeah. How many computers? Did they Oh my God, I don’t have enough computer. Some of these people have like, four or five, six kids. Hmm. How are we supposed to be on line one? I’ve seen stories after story.
You know, like, people are just I only have a phone. They don’t have internet access. Yes. All be considered in this kind of world that we live in. Now. When I last time, I looked online like only half the world was connected online. Yeah. So what’s happening with the other half but then that’s connected you think about anybody who’s connected that’s also the family that they live in under the same roof. So it’s probably more than that. Yeah. Accessibility that was another concern. You know, and then how do I pay for the bills? How do I do the cooking How do I do this and the stress stress off of it if you can’t
Damon Pistulka 31:59
then you said one thing Just think how difficult it would be if you were not someone that cook because there’s some people that never cooked now that I don’t care one way or the other we we cook a lot but if you had never cooked and you went to a restaurant shut down that well that’s why the grocery run went on but you know just not that but the stress that it causes like now I have to learn to cook a good cook because there’s a reason why they’re not cooking or don’t like it one of the two either way but it just there’s just so many things that are piling up on people nutrition gets affected everything.
Everything is affected it doesn’t matter topples over so people you know come in step in and start helping each other and that’s that’s the thing that I think that is really cool about it now you know we talked about it’s more human seems like business is more human but you do see people reaching out you see people like you talked about the Narcissus Narcissus groups group or narcissism group.
I didn’t say anything you’re saying it right but but you know on these kind of help groups where people are really reaching out and and as Curtis competence says a lot of Tompkins says a lot. If you you reach your hand down and help the others up. That’s what you do. And and I see a lot of that. And that that’s that’s good humanity. Man. That’s not that’s what that is. That’s
Andrew Cross 33:24
for billing you maybe it’s forced on us a little bit. But you know, people are are helping each other. And
33:32
here’s way of saying, um, well,
Andrew Cross 33:35
that’s what we’re supposed to do.
Paula Goodman 33:38
Work right of dignity and that should be honored first.
Damon Pistulka 33:40
Yeah. You know,
Paula Goodman 33:42
that birth right? That should be on our certificates of birth. Yeah, now should be told from day one, no matter what, I don’t care what the parents say. We’re exposed, that your school teachers let them media saying you know what, you have value, you have the birthright of dignity, you matter. That’s what we need to hear more than anything from day one. Because that helps us become strong people and have faith in who we are. You have to have that relationship with yourself to have that relationship with yourself inside. You can’t step outside very well. You are 100% if you don’t love yourself,
Damon Pistulka 34:19
yeah, yeah. That’s for sure.
Andrew Cross 34:22
Well, anything to if you, if you if you if, you know, if you reach out, you help people and now we’re afforded that opportunity more than ever, you know, it becomes back to you and your own, you know, how you feel about yourself in its bank, basically, as
Paula Goodman 34:39
it does, and, and that’s what you know, you see a lot about leadership. There’s also a follower and helps the leader when they’re down because not everybody is able to stay up all the time. We all take turns and a leader sees the leader and everyone else they like that candle and ignite. So that when they need a hand, they’re human. And they get to, they get to share in the dignity too. And it’s like, if you think about everybody in a circle, and we all take turns falling and getting up, you’ll see a little wave going, Well, turns, that’s a team.
Andrew Cross 35:15
Well, yeah, exactly. And back to a work relationship, you know, to if you don’t care, you’re not really developing, evolving a relationship with you know, other people, you know, they’re not, you’re not investing in them, and just in your attention or your care, they’re not going to do the same for you. And, you know, that dynamic of that is there, that’s what we, you know, bosses, like you said, You don’t just come in and show people how to do everything, because you don’t know how to do everything.
It’s not, you wouldn’t need them, you know, be they’re there with the answers to the questions, they’re there to solve the problems as well as, you know, problems that we know are there, but we don’t know, you know, how to do it. We just know how to, you know, how to get together and understand and figure out how to get through these things or around these things. And, you know, if you don’t do that, and, you know, that’s where that’s where that’s where it falls down. Right. So it is a very personal relationship.
36:08
And and one thing I used to hate hearing at work was it is what it is. Yeah, it is. That is, that’s fate. But you know, Destiny says, I got this.
Andrew Cross 36:22
Yeah,
Paula Goodman 36:22
in a stay what it is, if you do nothing about it.
Andrew Cross 36:25
Yeah. Yep. I always, I always like to hear, I don’t know, but we’ll figure it out. Yeah.
Paula Goodman 36:32
I mean, for every one problem, here’s a multitude of solutions. Yeah.
Damon Pistulka 36:37
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Cross 36:41
It’s very true. In our We’re in the business, you know, we we go in, and we’re in the transactions, you know, businesses changing hands or selling. So we see, you know, and that’s, you know, what you just said, one sentence from an employee that a buyer is going in, and they’re starting to interview and talk to the management team, and they go, and they hear that that one thing you just said, it is what it is that automatically in their heads a flag goes up bad culture. Yeah. Yeah. There’s problems here. And we’re going to keep it up.
Damon Pistulka 37:13
Yeah.
Paula Goodman 37:14
It’s a red flag.
Damon Pistulka 37:15
Yeah, exactly. That red flag red flag goes up.
Andrew Cross 37:19
Actually, uh, you know, even even in the biggest deals, you’re talking about, like sprint buying, you know, or T Mobile banks, and their diligence. Snakes as small as that can, can derail? You know, that if you can see it. I’ve seen that happen. Yeah. Well, yeah. Interesting.
37:38
To see. I mean, like, I left a job that I really liked. Because of scanning for what I believed in was, and I didn’t realize, I mean, well, you don’t realize how long the process can take, how draining it can be, how I’m how serious it can affect you. Because it can mean the fact that I stood up and believed and went as far as I did. And I went far. When I stood up, months later, other people stood up. Yeah. No way. No way. So it kind of like it didn’t matter. Like, sure. I had to look at where I was, can I afford to do this?
I had support in certain areas. But it was I can’t live like this. Yeah. Eat at me. And if I didn’t do anything, then I just there was just no way. Yeah, there’s just no way and when when you go the legal route, sometimes that’s what you have to do. Yeah. And when your rights are violated. Yeah. You just got to do what’s right. And when other people came up and stood up as well. Wow. worth it. It was Yeah, message got across. Yeah. needed to change that. That’s awesome.
When you when you hear that, and it validates to a bit that that you you know that it is real, it is happening it is that not just one person wants more and you do that. I would say to sorry, Damon, like, wait, if you’re in a situation at work, where it’s toxic and eating you like that. You have to start gathering your evidence. Oh, yeah. It’s something you have to do. Yeah, leave an email document, send it to yourself, and get your evidence without backup. You can be screwed. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That’s all I’m gonna say. I mean, like, and you want things in writing to and that takes time to gather and process so you really have to know what you have to do. And I I learned by doing. Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Cross 40:04
Well, it’s a thing. But you know, the the organizations, the systems, it’s not just business, it’s culture and you know, it can be in any, any type of thing. But they’re designed to keep things like that buttoned up. It’s to protect, again, the entity and not, you know, really, what is the entity? It’s the people, you know. So it’s kind of a back ass way of, you know, things. But you know, so it’s very, very difficult to get that that first straw pulled out a pin pulled out a thing, which is the first person who does it also the hardest, but, you know, I don’t think it’s even that surprising, because if it’s there, it’s there. And then it just, it just starts unraveling soon as you Yeah, it’s doing it. It’s a cheap suit.
40:48
I mean, and you think about it, too, I have to set an example. Yeah, the same thing. If I was in an abusive relationship, I can say that, you know, like, my daughter was nine at the time and was really, really upset. And she said to me that it was a domestic and the police came, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, she was mad at me and said, How could you do this? Yeah. And I’m like, what kind of mom would I be? To teach you that? That was okay.
Damon Pistulka 41:18
Yeah. And if you didn’t do it, yeah, exactly. Yeah. You know,
Andrew Cross 41:23
it’s a natural reaction to, you know, if you don’t, you know, you hope they come around.
Paula Goodman 41:30
Yeah. Like, it’s not my, it’s just my job to plant some seeds. Yeah, you know, but it’s your choice to take those seeds and do it, walk with them? Right. Yeah. Um, but later in life, too, in a career. It’s, I had to, like, I was in the middle. I was listening to it from below, and I was getting it from above. And to me, it was just that one day, I stood up and just went this this is what and I think I got more respect ever doing that. No, then then anything, it was my integrity. It meant so much to me.
And to do the right thing, and I miss a miss people. I miss coach, I miss being with them. And but it was time, it was just time. Ya know? So brought me to social media. I’m like, Yeah, my mind work. And what I’ve done in training, like it was the power of positive words. Yeah. How can I apply them to LinkedIn? And I’m like, No, I’m just gonna go and start writing.
And I started posting every day, and it kind of turned into a poetic move. Yeah. And I’m like, you know what? It was, I saw what attracted people to social media, something quick, something easy to read, gratifying to the I made a point and had an impact. Then I added the visual, because, yeah, they want a picture, and then they want a video, but then I’m like, I’m not doing me. I have this video thing. Here I am. Yeah. So I mean, it just kind of evolves. And it just, it’s just getting better. I mean, and it was helping people.
Andrew Cross 43:14
And then realize
Paula Goodman 43:16
just it turned into poetry and then people called the poetess. And then somebody else on the jet I and then it became word jet I POTUS and I’m like, Oh, it’s
Andrew Cross 43:27
that’s cool. I was wondering when when did When did you become the word jet? I
Damon Pistulka 43:31
poetess.
Paula Goodman 43:33
Back in November. Yeah. Two different people. Um, parameter engine is the one who first bestowed me with the title poetess. If he’s in my post, and yearly as I call him, my godfather, hmm. Because he was upon me.
Andrew Cross 43:51
And who was that? I’m sorry, we
Paula Goodman 43:53
that he called me poetess for the first time.
Andrew Cross 43:57
And who was that? I didn’t.
Paula Goodman 43:59
Premise Ranjan
Andrew Cross 44:00
got up here.
Paula Goodman 44:04
Listening this buddy. He’s in my post. But usually I respond to him. I always call him my godfather for these things. Yeah. And then another time, Michael cortinas called me word Jedi. Hmm. And the thing is, these two men said something and people started putting it together. Yeah. And then they started calling me and then one day somebody said to me, put it in your profile. I’m like, Oh my god, that would be so cool. And my work hold could I know I’ll do it for Christmas. But I did it just before Christmas as a gift to me. I’m like, okay, here it is.
Damon Pistulka 44:42
But haven’t gone through your poetry.
Paula Goodman 44:45
Poetry is one thing and to me it was like, I don’t just deliver poetry but a lot of people think it’s like fluffy. To me, it’s kind of something I made my own brand. It’s it was Something like bang and had an impact. There was a moral lesson to it, where I wanted to get people’s hearts Hmm. Get them to think, ask questions, telling them what to do. I’m just helping them think.
Damon Pistulka 45:13
Yeah. Yeah, that’s alright. As I’ve said before Apollo so many times, if you if people are listening to this, if you haven’t read her stuff, you need to read it. And then you’re gonna have to read it a few times and mean after it a lot of times. But it really does make you think and and I always whenever I read your post, I think that’d be for me that’s like a day, just to come up at least a day.
And first of all, and then and then set your engineer. Yeah. Two hours in, I’d say screw this. Yeah, but, but you read through it. And now there are there those messages that are embedded inside of the words that you write, that are so clear, when you do it, that you almost feel like you, hopefully are getting a bit understand a little bit about the message you’re really trying to send What?
Paula Goodman 46:13
That’s the whole creative part about it is the fact that no matter who reads it, they’re going to get a different idea. Yeah. And that’s okay. With me, I don’t need you to get my ideas. I want you to have your own. I want to pound the imagination. I want you to have an open mind. And I want you to keep discovering because there’s so much to discover. And you stop hammering the nail. You’re not going to get anyone.
Damon Pistulka 46:39
Yes, yes. Want to be a hammer. Yeah, yeah. But it’s so cool. Because you know, it flows from you. And if anyone looks at your posts, I mean, you post you post every day,
Paula Goodman 46:52
almost every I’ve actually had to slow down because I couldn’t keep up. Yeah, keep up with the feedback. Yeah, a lot of feedback. And um sometimes I’ll take a day off because mentally I need it like spend a good part of the day responding and I’m not getting anything else done. Yeah, there’s other pieces I like to go discover on LinkedIn as well. Right? I have a lot of friends here.
Yeah, but it was like but there’s there’s part of me too, like I have so much to to post and I’m like today I just can’t I just can’t i can’t the energy alone. And I noticed too that when I post something like that, I don’t have it carries itself Yeah, sometimes within an hour it’s got like 10 shares and I’m thanking other people for sharing but that gets around and then it’s like oh my god the dams alone. Yeah, wow. But it to me it’s like you know if I help one person I made a difference. Yeah, that to me it’s like oh, wow.
Damon Pistulka 48:01
Yeah. When your growth is pretty phenomenal. I mean, I don’t know I didn’t look up for GM when we connected but you got about 90,000 followers right now and and you know, those hairs and things that you’re doing it’s got to be at a pretty pretty fast paced isn’t it?
Paula Goodman 48:20
kind of looking at that since I don’t know March? I think I think I told you before Damon, and to me it’s like I may not get all the views of one post. Yeah, Rose has been for not it’s almost like 10,000 a month Yeah. Yeah. I can’t I think that to me is just like wow, yeah, no walk around to like I’m I’m working on trying to get a book out there. I mean, there’s a lot of learning there are and which was the best way to do it too. I go straight to Amazon, do I do a hardcover? softcover? I’m talking to publishers and I’m also organizing everything because if it’s all you should see my notes in my work oh my god
Damon Pistulka 49:07
yeah, well I can I can see I you know your growth is because your your words connecting the words and the visuals the way you put them together connect with so many people that why you’re they’re attracted where we’re attracted not they’re
Andrew Cross 49:22
very authentic, you know, I mean, it’s nice.
Paula Goodman 49:25
I yeah. Not going to be anybody else. And just me I like what works for me when I discover something new I’m like all over it. Like when this whole face swapping thing I told Joseph I was like, This is so cool. But then I’m looking at Oh, then I did the one for today when when you were saying like like, Oh, my God, here’s Phoebe. I’m going to put my face there because that was Phoebe from friends. You don’t even have to worry about wardrobe.
Damon Pistulka 49:58
Hilarious.
Paula Goodman 50:00
Find something I find so much fun. Because I think there’s power in I’m not just a visual, but the words, vision and use it. When you when I can do that within 20 seconds and make an impact. Wow. Yeah, it’s the reading. It’s like, you know what coming, I can’t just say come and read this, this is good. I’ve got to show them. And that’s, that’s part of it. Like, I’m out on my own now I’m just trying to be a freelance writer, I registered a business, but then you know what, there’s a lot more to it.
And I realized it’s gonna take time. That’s fine. You have to show people now. Yeah, pretty well done. So the feedback feedback is there. And now I’ve evolved and become what LinkedIn has created. In a way. I just, I just went out there and did what I thought, what I thought I was supposed to, to basically be like, your I am and now I’m telling him, I’m so blessed. And when you want to go out there and help others, it does help you. Yes,
Andrew Cross 51:10
your whole life. You know, for anybody else, you know, going into LinkedIn too. And a lot of it, they come in and like you experience what your experience is so much. There’s so much you know, going on to and you can’t do it all you don’t do. But you know, do take the time, have fun with it, and go and find people like Paul Goodman. You know, they’re there. Right, but you know, it, I think a lot of people you’re missing out if you turn away just because of, you know, all the noise that’s on there. And the things that aren’t really, you know, hit?
Paula Goodman 51:40
Yeah, there’s a lot of people that feel compelled to just go in and follow. It’s kind of like that herd mentality. It’s okay, if you don’t see or participate in everything. I have this theory, if I meant to see something, I’ll see it. Yeah, I feel bad. In the beginning, I felt that I had to respond to everything. And tagging was a big one. And I’m just sometimes I’d be tagged and I’m like, I don’t get it. Why. But then you’re also you’re honored at the same time because they appreciate you. Right? And, but it was just, it’s hard to keep up. And then you just have to tell yourself, it’s okay.
Andrew Cross 52:29
You can only do what you can do
Paula Goodman 52:30
on notification. And then by November, I just I just couldn’t, I was missing them. And I think I went online and I said you know what, LinkedIn, you have a problem. You need a bookmark. I’m losing my spot on notifications. And I went to LinkedIn helpful. And I’m just I made a big splat about it was the last time I mass and tagged anybody because I thought it was the most important thing in the world on LinkedIn. We like listen to the users, we’re going to tell you where you need to fix that.
Damon Pistulka 53:01
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, most people don’t realize that your notifications don’t work. After your network gets to a certain size. They just don’t work and you’re in really as IRA will I have a moment for people I don’t know IRA the way he teaches you how to do it with using bookmarks. That’s the only way you can do it. And you check the important people every day or whenever you think you need to
Paula Goodman 53:27
do it. Your point to that too. I said that you have to do the bookmarks only on your desk. Your your desktop? Yeah. You can’t do it on a mobile. Oh, so once in a while I have to go to my desktop and we check that list. And then I can I’m okay with my mobile. Yeah, I can’t do it on I’ll maybe one day but yeah,
Andrew Cross 53:50
well, I’d say you know, it’s like I would say take it you know, it’s intimidating. You know, and I think you know, for a lot of people, but it is there. It’s really good Newark there. There’s little things you can do to make it but have fun with it and find, yeah, find the good stuff in there. Find the good people in there.
Paula Goodman 54:05
You know, Ira has so many good lessons. He’s such a great teacher.
Damon Pistulka 54:09
Sure. Yeah. Well, you know, Paula, it’s so great to get to talk to you finally we I mean, we’ve been connected for a long time on LinkedIn and I just really appreciate everything that you do and how you help myself and everyone Yeah, so you are actively helping people with writing now I’m asking the question kind of no cuz I was just gonna say I we can talk let people know if that’s what you’re doing. If you’re not a that’s cool. But I always like to let people let people they can reach out to you on LinkedIn and talk if you need if you need some creative writing done if that is the case.
Paula Goodman 54:53
Thank you, or you know, like or just, you know, like you’re having a bad day. Yeah. Is it?
Andrew Cross 55:01
It’s a book going to be out, Paula?
Damon Pistulka 55:03
Yeah.
Andrew Cross 55:05
When’s the book going to be out?
Paula Goodman 55:06
Oh my gosh. I don;t have a date in mind, I
Damon Pistulka 55:13
know there’s someone we should introduce you to is Kon Apostolopolous.
Andrew Cross 55:18
Yeah.
Damon Pistulka 55:19
He and Dr. Elia wrote that book and like six weeks, he can tell you what
Paula Goodman 55:24
stuff written. It’s just composing it in, in a way I want to do it, because I really want to do it the right way for me. Um, there, there’s some children’s books in the way. And then there’s also the poetry but I have to compartmentalize and do the presentation. I don’t want to do with a hardcover, soft, probably a soft cover, but I don’t, this whole online stuff goes straight to Amazon. I’m, I’m wondering if that’s the way I want to go or work directly with a publisher. I’m still debating what I saw. I’m talking to different people. Sure. I mean, already? Yeah, it’s done.
Andrew Cross 56:02
I went through it. I think they’ve done a la has done three or four books. And I think he’s, he’s done hardcover. But you know, anyways, well, yeah, those guys, they’re great guys. And stellar. Like, just for the
Paula Goodman 56:15
Yeah, there is experience in November that I am a contributor in and part editor of, but that’s been taking that was one of my projects over the summer as well. So but that’s, that’s just one thing. So
Andrew Cross 56:29
you’re keeping yourself busy, that’s for sure.
Damon Pistulka 56:31
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it’s awesome. Just awesome to have you on and talk and learn more about you and and if people want to talk to politics, look up, look her up on LinkedIn, and your thanks again. And we will have we have Danny Karen on Thursday. Now if people don’t know Danny is, is an ex. He just really, really exemplary example of somebody that he overcame addiction.
Very young age. Now he’s out helping people and he’s such a positive influence. And he’s coming to us from Australia. So a it’s got to be the first person that we’ve talked to that’s in Australia. I mean, recently we went first one in the UK so out of the United States, then I think we went someplace else on the United States now we’re in Canada, which is outside of the US United States. And we’re going full hundred percent we are for international
Paula Goodman 57:37
national. And that is Jones love her.
Damon Pistulka 57:41
Yeah, live Yes.
Andrew Cross 57:43
Great. Yeah, that was great. She No, no. So Australia, though, they they’re pretty much on the opposite. Same timezone as us are they completely Yeah, so yeah, sure, Liz. But
Damon Pistulka 57:55
it’s nine o’clock on Friday, at this time at three o’clock our time. So yeah, he’s ahead in the next next morning, so but stay away will ramble on like that forever. Thanks, everyone for watching the eggs era roundtable today, Wolf, signing out.
